Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
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Comments (237)
flockz 20
sounds like you weren't the only one pitching. sounds like you weren't the only one putting spit on balls. sounds like someone got through all the bases. sounds like your girlfriend was recieving balls to but she wasn't on the field. sounds like you need to put her on the bench for a timeout. sounds like your field is now open for new prospects. choose your favorite there's oh so many.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Keep going.
flockz 20
sounds like your girlfrien threw you a curveball. sounds like your game needs a little change up. sounds like you short armed that pitch. sounds like you were the only one throwing a knuckleball. sounds like your bat isn't a true slugger. while you were putting wood on the balls, your girl was putting wood in her mouth. sounds like you were a strikeout. sounds like someone got a base on balls. more?
flockz 20
sounds like as your parents were cheering on your grounders, her dad was hearing her pound her. sounds like you were trying hard to hit sliders, while he was sliding in her. while you were diving face first in to second, he was diving face first into your girlfriend. you got grass stains on your shirt while she got **** stain on hers. while you were lacing balls over the heads of fielders, he was lacing shots on her face. sounds like you both were feeling a little dirty.
Justforlolz 14
And we have a winner!
perdix 31
Sounds like she sacrificed your fly.
flockz 20
sounds like you weren't the only person who had a pop up. sounds like you made a sacrafice. it sounds like he stole your base. sounds like you're the one being thrown out. sounds like the coach gave them the go ahead. your coach gave you the nod while your girlfriend got the head. alright i'm done, i'll be here all week! *drops mic*
loserman67 36
They are awesome, but how about: "Looks like someone else hit one right down the middle" "Looks like someone else got your grand slam" "Looks like she got a little piece of wood" "Looks like she took a fastball" "Looks like she called in the designated hitter" "Looks like she took one right down the middle" And so many more.......
contedefees 11
Maybe she was watching **** and having some quality alone time.
1kiki81 6
Wooooow.......awkward much
bobbycorwen 5
Aquard*
candycrave559 0
Bitches aint shit..
lustheart 7
.....but hoes an' tricks.
Quinnnn_fml 0
lol what kind of dad would say that to his daughters boyfriend..
SCHSrocks 1
a normal one?
Shadow_Phantom 26
Oooooh ouch. Burn. FYL dude.
TheCrazyCoach 0
If I were the dada I wouldn't pull you aside...I'd kick your ass
xx7000girlxx 0
Chill dickheads. Maybe she was just masturbating.
TheNewGuy03 29
I just refer to them as "asynchronous ululations."
steenj_1 0
What a ho-bag ****! Let her catch you next time
_MissyJennifer_ 0
she is a ****... If she is cheating in u dump her ass
ArchxAngel 9
* She. * On. *You.