Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
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Top comments
SPC117 5
Instead of "DUMP THAT *****" I'm going to go with a more elegant "ditch that bitch"
savona01 7
That sucks! It happen to me....with my wife! While I was out of town for Training...
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Comments (237)
superdelis 1
Wow man...sorry to hear...take that Louisville slugger and put in some work, although attempted murder might not be the way to go...leave her, a whoop his a$$
neoamaru_fml 8
Umm maybe he meant BEFORE you went for the tournament? :p lol Anyway dump that bitch
ajjucool 0
probably her dad just wants to get it out of your mouth if you've already had sex with his daughter.. he just asked the wrong question.. just think positive :) aaa im just kidding.. she's a bitch.
17Mom 9
1-800-Choke-That-Hoe
brittneyjai 0
:( sad!
pieper171 4
Hell yeah
drivemysoul19 8
What a *****.
pieper171 4
Yeah message me 3612220321
drivemysoul19 8
I disappointed this was moderated. I would love to have read what you said.
SkardeyKat 3
"Well, sir, apparently your daughter is a cheating ***** because I was out of town last weekend. I'll leave you to tend to your little hussy. Good luck with that."
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Are you ******* serious? (Not questioning you, just a "wtf" moment)
UrCapsLockOn 12
that means he won't kill u .. That a good thing right .. O wait .. SHIT !!!!
jobsman99 0
Assume she missed you over the weekend and had her favorite vibrator out working on her clit and had a great ****** thinking if you. Ask her about it, if she says "no I was f'ing someone else" then dump her.