Today, my coworker was talking about how he fixed his broken marriage and how his wife adores him. I asked for his advice, since mine has been rough. He started talking about God and Christianity and how religion showed him the path. Uhh... nope, I think I'll stick with things the way they are. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML
Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML
Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML
Today, I tried to speak to my wife about my feelings for this coming year, family and work. I thought it wouldn't be a problem as I regularly listen and support her with her feelings, emotional issues, anxiety, depression, etc. She shut me down in 30 seconds and said to stop acting like my mother and being so stupid. FML
Today, after reading and listening to stories about cheating and failed relationships, I realized that my infatuation for a coworker has begun to dwindle. I don't think I'm psychologically strong enough to recover a failed relationship. FML
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
Today, I told my wife I wanted a divorce. I haven’t been in love with her for a long time and I've fallen in love with a girl at my job. When I told her this, she responded with, “No, fuck that, we're going to couples' therapy and you are gonna be a father to our kids!” I guess that’s a “No.” FML
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Top comments
SAgirl 23
Well in his defence, you did ask him for his advice.
dreams2383 20
I wasn't religious at all, but seriously, it heald my marriage completely and we are closer now then ever before.
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Comments (3)
dreams2383 20
I wasn't religious at all, but seriously, it heald my marriage completely and we are closer now then ever before.
Hangryko 32
OP, your coworker followed you into FML!
SAgirl 23
Well in his defence, you did ask him for his advice.
angus 17
Too right buddy, no need for fairytales