Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (309)
FluffyBeard 0
What. A. Cow.
mesyoup3zY 0
I'm not religious and I still give gifts!
IndigoFuckYou 9
...Hold up. Your very long and complicated talk with your girlfriend was about *Christmas presents*?
PeteyPablo12308 20
**** that bitch
kismentia 10
Get her an ironically titled film, such as Despicable Me or Idiocracy...on VHS.
hellonyancat 6
Wow what a chancer she is! have words with her or dump her. If she's this selfish, demanding and materialistic now, imagine what she'd be like if you were married.
The__Redneck 7
The question is whether you were dumb enough to put up with it.
imaxmain 24
tell her she should have it so she gives and receives just just doesnt get anything
TheWillyErl 0
I don't care much for religion, but the tradition of gift giving started with the 3 wise men bringing crap for jesus. despite what Christmas is today, a long time ago it wasn't the celebration of Macy's and Santa
always_smile_fml 3
They gave gifts because a child was being born, a child they believed was special. There's no reason why people should give gifts during Christmas nowadays. Unless they're giving them to Jesus.
Pazu_fml 10
Not quite. Christmas gift exchanges have Pagan origins, as do 90% of Christmas traditions. The practice was actually banned by the Church for a while for this reason, then later brought back into the holiday by rationalizing that it was because of the wise men and St. Nicholas.
watdadildo 0
Cheapo