Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
piwikiwi93 0
She's the stupidest most selfish person ever! She's like a female Scrooge! Any chance you can get 3 ghosts to vist her? If not dump her!!!
JOD96 0
Tellher to **** off
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Wtf. I'm not religious and yet I still get presents for people. Surprise her on Christmas day with a bag of poop and a note saying "We're done" in a nice big box with a big red bow. Merry Christmas to that selfish ****! And FYL.
jaylee69 0
A new boyfriend you don't need a selfish bitch like that dude
Levvy 22
When I saw a tangentially religious topic come up and nearly twice the comments on this compared to its adjacent FMLs, I was concerned. I expected a slew of whining about why non-Christians would celebrate a holiday with Christian trappings. And yet, there seems to be quite a bit of tolerance going on (with a few regrettable exceptions)! Y'all make me proud.
monnanon 14
Its not a christian holiday..exclusively anyway, neither is easter or Hallowe'en. We Pagans had dibs on those holidays before Jesus was even thought of.
tinydanzr 6
Ah smart girl :)
Okayitwasme 0
Anyone who said it was a Pagan tradition is correct. It was a celebration of the darkest days. After Xmas time the sun becomes brighter. Being cooped up in castles and keeps for long periods of time till spring was the norm. So they made each other gifts and clothing. People of course did not want to stop the tradition so the Pope covered it up as Christ's birthday. No knew his exact death so this worked well for them. In those days no body used a credit card. Lol if I were you OP I would either give her recycled gifts, as it is the Pagan way to share what you have. Or gifts of spirit, poetry, Drink and food as is also the Pagan way. Lol
monnanon 14
Correct except...those early Pagans did not live in castles, mostly peat huts and similar structures. Also xmas is supposed to be for the birth of Jesus not the death, his birth has been worked out to round about August. The Pagans also used to bring greenery into their house and light fires to entice the sun god back hence the fairy lights and the xmas tree.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
I can see this FML turning into a giant religious debate.... *runs for cover*
Rachel1987 4
Time to break up IMO. YDI if you get her a gift.
someguy314159265 15
You just gotta love Christmas, as well as every other holiday that involves corporations getting a lot of money from people buying stupid shit.
Okayitwasme 0
Yup go to some crazy sex shop and get her a gift she will remember!!