Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Her revenge
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
One-sided
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Influencers
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
dustyroaty 7
What a materialistic bit*h..
emerluvsu 6
"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas!"
wjwelsh 3
Selfish, high maintenance.
Mickaylah 0
Wow, Get Her Nothing And Dump Her.
death_dolphin24 0
*too
melikeyturtles 3
Just about all holidays are pagan anyway. True christians shouldnt have anything to do with a pagan holiday regardless of tradition or culture. Give gifts & thanks all year round. People should wait until the end of the year and have to feel obligated just to show their loved ones they care.
melikeyturtles 3
*should not
usnwife 18
So now because you're Christian you can't celebrate Christmas? Huh???? I agree, give thanks and celebrate all year long, but that doesn't mean you "shouldnt have anything to do with a pagan holiday." That's just dumb.
melikeyturtles 3
You do realized paganism is false worship? Why would a TRUE christian want to be involved in false worship?
monnanon 14
dont be a close minded idiot 163. There were thousands of years of history and many religions before christianity reared itself up from the middle east and there will be many religions and many more years after it has gone the way of many world dominating religions. Worshipping pagan gods is not false it is just worshiping different gods, why are the big religions so scared of people not believing in exactly what they tell them too?
aerogxt 7
How about a Dear Jane letter?
djiksonghk 0
Dump her immediately
usnwife 18
Religious or not, the holiday season is about giving because you want to show your appreciation/love for someone! That is one selfish bitch right there, I really hope you dump her ass...
MarioDragon 14
Christmas was built because of religions, the birth of Christ. If you aren't religious, you cannot celebrate Christmas without turning religions, since you celebrate the birth. However, you can participate in it, which is the same thing with a different name. People seem to get the two confused...
monnanon 14
Christmas is a holiday built on the back of a pagan holiday. If you can tell me why a celebration of a Isreali babies birth (because Jesus was born in Isreal dont you know) features mistletoe, holly and a fir tree then you can claim it as a christian only holiday.
jovanmoney 0
i got couple an ides on what u can get her. how about nothing, lmfao