Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
wlfmanjack 5
Just say "sorry my religion says to only buy gifts for nice people and to throw lumps of coal at selfish bitches like you".
theevilduchess 12
What the ****!?! Are you even speaking English?
MeleMallory 0
Doesn't sound too complicated to me...
dartzli 3
Giving gifts on x-mas has nothing to do with it being religious... It's just the trend now. The religious part is going to church and all that other bs.
jellitonoctopus 19
Being with someone that stupid and selfish must be painful. Christmas isn't about gifts, she doesn't need any.
tigerarmychic 3
haha :)
DanbotXIII 10
Santa Claus was not nailed to the cross... it is a hallmark way to celebrate christmas, so really she should be the first to give everyone gifts if she whats to celebrate without being religious.
Jordyn_WhoDat 6
okay, that's really dumb of her.
BloodFaerie 21
I'm not religious either, but I LOVE giving gifts to those I care about! So, she is full of bullshit and you can tell her I said that right before you dump her selfish ass, OP. ;)
PeachyJinx 7
Eh. Get her some flavored lube & a card that says "hint, hint" (: