Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
some_girl9 8
What a ****. I say kick her freeloading ass to the curb. And if you don't, then YDI.
OfficeNinja 5
What a bitch. Get her "dick in a box" - it's a gift that you both can enjoy.
4rmMiami 4
Don't be an idiot and give her something. She deserves nothing more than garbage!
IsBitchBetter 1
Sounds like you found yourself a real keeper!
WeaverSka 16
While Christmas is now devoid of all religious meaning, it does not work that way. If she believes that gift giving is a one-way street then she needs to learn a lesson. HOWEVER, judging by the context, I'm guessing its a test, and she's seeing how committed you are. So id say get her a gift, and either: 1) Pass the test, and receive some kind of reward from her or 2) If it wasn't a test, and she is just selfish, then grab the present back off her, throw it on the ground and stomp it till she gets the message.
Semikolon 1
Sounds like someone has a black hole inside of her. You will eventually discover that nobody and nothing will ever be able to fill it.
Psyk_fml 11
Drop it like it's hot.
kittenelaine 0
Selfishly lame.
Pazu_fml 10
She absolutely has the right to not participate in a holiday if she doesn't want to. Which then means she doesn't have the right to dictate how others should include her in the holiday she's not participating in. That makes no sense at all, and you're a fool if you try to appease her.
shrdlu 28
Give her some proselytizing literature as a present.