Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DGross 8
ewww... ...at least you didn't swallow it
salty66 0
Sometimes, it's better not to think about that kind of stuff. Afterall, ignorance is bliss...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
SkyWriteReader 0
How the hell did you post this if you spat on your laptop is what I wanna know. I suppose you could have another computer though. Hmmm... Something to ponder...
raqraqrawr 5
....he could of posted this with his phone. And, people these days has more than one computer or laptop.
prod324 0
awww mannn!!! thts so gross, I'd sue tht place
myunicornbarfedo 0
EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYL!!!
overload390 2
ah haha thats nasty man! well at least you didnt swallow! fyl dude fyl
ethang1996 0
This made me "LOL."
wazup12345 0
AFRICAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nika10105 14
u could hav at least spit the rest of it back in u cup!!!
TuteSweet 13
I've never cringed that much wile reading an FML.
raqraqrawr 5
Sue their ass. That's just gross.
biancak105 10
Nothing wrong with a bit of extra protein.