Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, I hope the computer's alright (or not expensive). Why would you think it was a roach if you didn't feel any legs or squirming?
DocBastard 40
I completely understand your reaction. Most men don't like hard things near their mouths. Wait, what?
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Comments (85)
_Burnett89 9
I hear they have good protein lol
sarah6786 14
Ice cubes? Dang.
kakarot2 11
I'm sure 1 meant the roaches...
SonOfAMitch 14
*whoosh* Right over your head.
DerrickJames 33
They do have good protein. They carry the protein around in large barrels waiting to be gobbled up.
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, I hope the computer's alright (or not expensive). Why would you think it was a roach if you didn't feel any legs or squirming?
EsotericBrent 29
I think the fact there was an unwanted object in his mouth made him consider what it was. Most likely, and unfortunately, I'd say his mind went worst-case scenario
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
At least they didn't think it was an ice cube and it ended up being a roach, right?
GothickNihilist 15
My laptop is like a child to me. Even though it was not expensive, it has all my games, software, anime, cosplay photos etc. Some people cannot cope without their computer. I hope OP didn't have important information, and/ or stuff that is hard to replace on their computer.
EsotericBrent 29
45 - I tried them once, they don't taste nearly as good as the roach-shaped ones though
Satoaoi 13
squirming
tzryan 3
Dude, nice comment, very alive
meow_jess 11
I would have probably had the same reaction, but I would have tried to aim for the floor , i hope your laptop still works :/.
jetsown08 21
You would've assumed you just drank a roach too?
asb818 14
I'm pretty sure she is only meaning if she thought a roach was in her mouth her reaction of spitting it out would be the same, not that she thinks she would mistake an ice cube for a roach.
SMOKEnTOKE00 3
Op has a nasty ass house that's why!
sens3sfailing 25
There's a reply button for a reason
Eluveitie 9
Don't forget the 'thumbs-down' button.
Bubblezx 12
What does "op" mean?
tomhofer 14
Why right on the laptop? Off to the side would have worked
happle 21
Or back in the cup. If there's a roach in it, you probably wouldn't want the rest of the drink anyways.
HelloSirs 14
Because **** logic.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Wasn't the fact it was cold a clue it wasn't a bug?
spaboolly 26
That would require some measurable amount of common sense on OP's part.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Very true. Common sense isn't so common.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Ah. I just realized... *wasn't. -_-
Paigeerific 7
Yeah, lol who feels something in their mouth and automatically thinks "cockroach!"
VannahJane 17
Could you not tell by the icy nature of an ice cube??
DocBastard 40
I completely understand your reaction. Most men don't like hard things near their mouths. Wait, what?
gc327072 31
So.... then if OP was a woman, would they've swallowed? :o
Ajwc101 24
Do you like hard things near your mouth Doc?
juliaannw 11
Swig (:lmao
Kalipczo 21
Did you not remember putting ice in your drink? Granted we've all had stupid moments but this is pretty retarded
GTAmax99 12
Same way you forget to turn on the oven?