Today, my wife and I are having marital/intimacy issues. My 72 year-old mom basically told me to touch my wife, to hug her more, caress her lovingly, and pat her bottom, etc. Thanks mom, I'll grab her ass, that'll make it all better. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, my mother in law likes to baby my partner. Gets him drinks, kisses him on the forehead, talks to him like he's 8, does everything for him. And she gives me death stares, especially when she hugs him when I'm around. FML
Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML
Today, my mom messaged me and was acting weird, we don't have a real relationship. Turns out, she wanted to tell me to stop posting selfies because "it's making her feel bad about her appearance." The worst part? She said, "My husband likes you more than me sexually." That's your big concern? FML
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Top comments
Plop 17
You do realize it's ultimately fairly basic and sound advice? Maintain romantic physical contact, and bonus points if you can make it playful and sexy. That being said, the very basic (kissing and hugging) might already be tricky depending on the severity of the issues you and your wife have.
slhiggx 17
Grab her ass. Your mom isn’t wrong. Your wife is a woman. She wants to feel sexy, desired, admired. Etc. randomly compliment her physical beauty, along with compliments on her character. Help her feel attractive and desired by you. Let her know you Want her.
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Comments (10)
Plop 17
You do realize it's ultimately fairly basic and sound advice? Maintain romantic physical contact, and bonus points if you can make it playful and sexy. That being said, the very basic (kissing and hugging) might already be tricky depending on the severity of the issues you and your wife have.
RichardPencil 32
It can't hurt! Mom's homespun advice is a lot cheaper than professional counseling!
slhiggx 17
Grab her ass. Your mom isn’t wrong. Your wife is a woman. She wants to feel sexy, desired, admired. Etc. randomly compliment her physical beauty, along with compliments on her character. Help her feel attractive and desired by you. Let her know you Want her.
pandaandthepitty 12
I mean, she isn't wrong. Small efforts go a long way in the mind of a woman.
Dirtysalamander1 13
did you ignore everything else and just listened to grab her ass? how ignorant.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
It sounds like you missed a lot of the point 😬
randybryant799 21
So let me get this right. Your mom gave you some really helpful ways to make it better with your wife and you're now pissed? I'm really confused.
Hangryko 32
You won't know until you try ... or is it that you not trying is the real problem?
Lydmyers 9
As a woman who doesn't like to be touched, do not randomly grab her ass - you are probably going to annoy her and make the intimacy issues worse. Instead, be loving and talk to her. The issue could possibly be emotional, which plays a huge part in the way alot of women work. Most of us are emotional creatures by nature. Chances are, she will tell you what the problem is and how to fix it, so please PLEASE listen.
TheNomad 4
Usually intimacy issues are a symptom not the problem. Dig in and find the systemic issue and the sex will fix it self. People in healthy happy relationships have great sex because they put the needs of each other first, and out of that flows great sex. And be grateful your mom is trying to help. Even if it not super helpful (may or may not be) it’s really nice that she cares.