Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
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Top comments
gianthelper 1
Women-1 Sexist men-0
Rangant 7
I'm pretty sure almost everyone here is going to cheer her on aswell. Way to be a dick.
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Comments (259)
beclaurela 18
Well deserved. //claps
emstar828 4
Youre a jerk. The end. Ydi.
Ugi 27
Hey, you asked for beer, you got beer! Nothing cool in demanding subservience from your "partner". I can only assume she realises that you don't normally act like that because she could quite easily have just walked out. I hate the word but in this case it's the only one that's appropriate: everyone needs that little bit of respect.
babybabybabynoo 0
Never. Do. That.
Fmlsea 28
I'd cheer her on too ,YDI for being a douche maybe next time instead of trying to be "cool" you be a decent bf!
MakeTodayADTR 20
Haha she was probably just getting excited for the olympics, her favorite sport is softball.
condango 0
That's just terrible. All that good beer spilt. Tragic
barlessprison 16
I'll just go ahead and assume all the FYLs you receive are because people accidentally clicked that instead. YDI on all levels.
Ugi 27
Well there's currently less than 4% FYLs and I'm sure more than that proportion don't actually read them before clicking. That's well within the noise I would think.
downtime 13
I clicked FYL because a ridiculous out of character asshole comment does not warrant having four beer bottles thrown at your head. If you think that's appropriate then good for you, I hope I never meet you because apparently you think domestic violence is ok.
MetalOcelot 5
By OP's logic, sounds like he should've been the one to get his own beer 'cause he a BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH
heart_aussie_fml 20
Yeah, you definitely sound cool. To douchebags maybe.