Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
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Top comments
gianthelper 1
Women-1 Sexist men-0
Rangant 7
I'm pretty sure almost everyone here is going to cheer her on aswell. Way to be a dick.
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Comments (259)
spaija 8
did she chucked all four bottles in the same time or she did it one by one? in both cases YDI, but if she did it one by one, with small dramatic pause in between, YDI even more :)
Ugi 27
I imagine: Get <throw> your <throw> own! <throw> Asshole! <throw>
mikeymayhem_87 15
Haha.... Well said 52!!
jaytee1994 9
Go girlfriend!!!!:) you deserve that you fagg! You have to treat your girlfriend like a princess! Treat her with respect and love! NOT yelling at her! You got what you deserved! :)
Dracoboxer357 36
Hmm, it might be a little redundant to repeat what most everyone else has already stated.....but perhaps it's best to err on the side of caution and make Certain you understand this point: Yes. You deserve to not be given any more respect than what you had given to your girlfriend. Idiot. :p
zoecw 14
You seem like a dick head.
carmel1110 12
YDI. If my boyfriend ever did it I'd slap him in front of his friends.
p1nkzebra 7
You are a douche! YDI, your girlfriend should go find someone better after that asshole move you just pulled! Nobody likes a douche, so you should have seen this coming. Really I don't know what to say except that you must have a mental disorder or something.
NoahEibon 11
Way to be a dick, you deserve it. She shouldn't have to serve you and your friends. Now you are a dick and a bad host.
steak87 1
Pff. Dumbass.
mosquito19 14
since when being a dick to your girlfriend is considered cool?
rattusrattus 19
Since small boys who believe in 'girl germs' started drinking beer and having girlfriends.
monomiscuous 8
Get it yourself!!!