Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
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Top comments
gianthelper 1
Women-1 Sexist men-0
Rangant 7
I'm pretty sure almost everyone here is going to cheer her on aswell. Way to be a dick.
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Comments (259)
Factor_fml 6
Why did you put her into this situation, OP? What did you expect her to do, publicly humiliate herself by serving at your command? Should she silently let it slide and let everyone know that they can treat her this way and get away with it? What did you expect, precisely?
Ubehage 32
haha! What makes you think that yelling at your girlfriend is cool ? I guess your parents gave you that idea; otherwise I can't think of any reason. I think you should repay them: Go home and bitchslap your mom. Then tell her you are just trying to be cool :D
renjisgirl12 22
People seem to forget that there's a difference between speaking loudly and shouting. It's more the way he would have said it.
ladybuggirl1234 3
you dont deserve a girlfriend. i hope she dumped your sorry ass.
abkpw21 1
My gf gets me beer every time, leave out the trying to impress people part and it becomes more expected:P
sigrak0 10
How's this an FML..? Its not like she was obligated in anyway to have you be her maid of honor, why not be happy to help in any way you can? Stuck up bitch >.>
Life_is_FML 22
Um wrong FML retard. This is the one about the guy with beer bottles. Fail
DeathThrasher891 3
YDI for being a douche
cumminside03 0
Wtf is wrong with you people If she was near the fridge and he asked for a damn beer I don't see what the problem is
olpally 33
It's the way he did it though. Read the FML again.
iwadasn 33
He deliberately asked for one in a rude, bossy way because he thought that ordering his girlfriend around would impress his friends.
sigrak0 10
Fail the app changed stories on me.. That comment was ment for another disregard.
darkmis1 18
Acting like a sexist douchebag =/= cool.