Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss's use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML
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Top comments
____gerard____ 11
I don't see how that could've been offensive to gay people
HeadlessSparrow 20
Horrible Bosses 3: FML edition
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Comments (88)
thejonac 21
even if it wasn't you in this case, you should be glad that your boss protects his subordinates.
just_killin_time 14
Not really, no. This reaction is not about protecting someone. Maybe the company OP works for has been sued several times or recently, so they are overly cautious. If that's not the case the way I see it his boss either was in a bad mood and took this as an excuse to take it out on OP (******** move) or is trying to build a paper trail with bullshit offenses which can ultimately result in OP facing disciplinary measures, being denied a promotion or in the worst case getting fired (which is even more of a ******** move).
chosha_fml 27
Google the idiom and show him the real meaning.
BlondePsycho 43
Sounds like your boss has a dirty mind
ManateeRex 14
Report it to HR.
Weiss_Schnee 14
I'm gay and use this phrase all the time. What the actual **** is wrong with your boss?
TheInquisitor 3
Your boss is probably just a sexually frustrated in-the-closet guy who hates straight people. I've met a few myself who blow up randomly.
thes7274473 19
Your name at the top makes me nervous…
StellaNox 16
Are you serious? O.o FYL!
quarterbird 18
That sucks, OP. Your boss is a moron. Anyone who isn't a moron would have naturally assumed that it was a differentiation of "a shot in the dark". You should have suggested googling the phrase to settle the matter.
enginsteve 17
It took me about 2 minutes to understand that euphemism... Now that I understand it I can't stop laughing.. I love toilet humor!