Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss's use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
____gerard____ 11
I don't see how that could've been offensive to gay people
HeadlessSparrow 20
Horrible Bosses 3: FML edition
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
artistswife 19
Your boss is not very smart. He insulted your intelligence and he insulted those who are gay. You might want to get him a thesaurus.
thatcoolguy123 14
This is the most random shit I've read today...
JustinJK 21
OMG HOW DARE YOU USE A WELL KNOWN IDIOM!!? Although as a gay I do see how it could be a euphemism for anal haha
Kazze 31
I'm gonna have to use that. "Baby, I'd like to stab you in the dark. ;)" ... on second thought, I don't want a restraining order..
Surge_Heart 12
Is it a standard for potential boss position applicants to be assholes ? FML is full FMLS of higher-ups being ignorant and/or straight out stupid ..
CaroAurelia 12
Some people are so open-minded that their brains fall out.
Cely988 29
I don't think OP's boss had any brain to begin with.
CaroAurelia 12
#43, that's true. I stand corrected.
mistress_paz 30
WTF? That's messed up that he would even come up with that!
Wolfparable 22
Wow clearly an intelligent and observant boss eh?
CourtJester27 12
Yeah that was really insensitive considering sexual orientation shouldn't matter in the work place and it's not like you said "I'd pork him in the stink hole"!
amansingh 8
What crawled up his ass? pun intended.