Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I found out that absentmindedly correcting my boss's use of the word "whom" could result in my immediate termination. FML
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Top comments
____gerard____ 11
I don't see how that could've been offensive to gay people
HeadlessSparrow 20
Horrible Bosses 3: FML edition
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Comments (88)
fractured_ 22
If your boss is that ignorant, you should look into another job.
184886837272837 32
is your boss a Tumblr user by any chance?
Vestin 18
I can't help but wonder whether this took place in San Francisco...
more4me 27
Not a chance.
Wizardo 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"Charlie was finally being allowed into the chocolate factory, his previous 'girlfriend' was always dead set against it". Now that would've been even slightly offensive.
sullivankeara 25
Can someone explain?
jaredofmo 22
"Stab in the dark" pretty much means making a blind guess. I guess the boss somehow thought it meant since you can't see what's going on back there when someone's giving it to you during anal sex... I guess we know where the boss' mind is a lot!
MrConcise 35
#32, you're overthinking it. Think about it again, a stab in the dark? I mean, that's pretty literal in terms of anal sex, you're poking the brown eye.
pete9913 23
PC had gotten to the point where offense is perceived, even if the offense is not taken. It's nearly impossible to say anything any more, without offending someone, or some one ASSUMING you may have offended some one.
Algorithm 24
The sort of people who spout "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS OVERBOARD, WE CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE!!" always seem be the kind of people who're only saying it because someone told them it's shitty to make rape jokes. Or racist jokes, sexist jokes, homophobic jokes...
cat0720 9
In my opinion, people have become obsessed with political correctness in some ways, like with the term African-American. It's perceived as offensive to say "black" and we are taught to call black people who don't even live in America African-Americans, which is completely ridiculous. On the other hand, I think it's necessary to make sure no one is being purposefully hateful.
Ashd09 30
I actually really agree with this comment. In school a few weeks ago I was talking to my friend about a picture she drew and said "I would definitely avoid using the color black" (in coloring the pic) and my teacher started calling me racist and went on a long PC rant. I was put in in school suspension for 2 days over my supposedly "racist" remark
cm1995_fml 10
Wow! OMG your school and teacher can go f*ck themselves ? smh
ohSNAPyall 27
African-American and Black are both OK. Some people prefer one term, and others, another. This example is a weak argument.
darryaz 9
Your boss is a moron.
dude_itskayley 17
Evidently he needs some serious clarification on what that euphemism is supposed to mean. Wow
Ipsum629 13
isn't that in reference to Hamlet?
RobinGoodfellow 47
Not all stabbings are Hamlet.... Only like five of them.
Joshawott 21
I think your boss is secretly gay and is overcompensating.