Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mewzik 0
YDI did he give you a ticket or was he too busy gagging?
ramdoodle45 0
well if he was gagging, i bet you're one of those girls who's really ugly but acts bitchy like she's hot. but on the bright side, this isn't really FML because your ugliness gave him nausea so you didn't get a ticket so congrats, YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (299)
Helldozer 0
#205, your post is win.
hurr 0
To everyone, on the topic of Britt: Why are you people so stupidly cruel? It's like a 6th-grade dance in this place. Who cares if she was arrogant? Get over yourselves. You realize that you're probably really hurting her feelings -- and for what? She related a happy little story that shows she has (perhaps undeserved) high self-esteem? OH NOES! She's supposed to just be a meek, self-deprecating, emo whiner? Britt -- I don't think it's your story (or your looks) that makes these dumbasses froth at the mouth. It's how you respond to them. I think the adage is something like this: "Don't get into arguments with idiots. They'll just drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." How are people supposed to have any confidence or freedom of self-expression at all when a legion of morons stands ready to shred their smallest happiness?
izzyyy 0
@ #211 TL;DR She earned it. It wasn't how she responded that led to my response, I didn't even read her responses until afterwards, and even if I had, my response would have remained the same. Hey buddy, did you ever think you might be hurting our feelings by calling us 'stupidly cruel' and telling us to get over ourselves? Congrats, moron. See, the difference between you and me is that I can take what's being dished, especially if I'm doing the same. The girl need to grow up and learn that the whole world does not think she's beautiful, even if she does, and that playing the 'oh I don't care what you say card' when she really does care, won't help her situation.
Helldozer 0
#212, YOUR post is win.
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
No way on god's given that you didn't earn this.
atomicmrpelly 2
Maybe get a life and take the traffic laws more seriously than "Oh I'll just the cop a bit of tit and he'll let me off." and then you won't ******* deserve every cent you have to pay for that criminal offense.
brittimes2 0
actually this isn't hurting my feelings, it's entertaining. i'm not arrogant, i said one ******* thing and everyone had a conniption fit. and i didn't put a picture up for people to say "how beautiful i am" because i really could care less if you think i'm pretty or ugly as shit. i just can't believe that people are STILL talking about it.
izzyyy 0
Well, people wouldn't be calling you arrogant if you didn't make yourself look that way. No one is having a fit, and to be honest, this is as entertaining to me as it is to you, probably more, because I see you coming back still trying to shrug it off. You're still talking about it too. Sheesh, what a tard.
wtfreallyin86 0
diddo #218....it's entertaining to bag on people who try their best to back their shit up but they fail everytime. They completely deserve to be hated on.....makes for a good pass time. brittimes2 do you realize that you're making yourself look dumber and dumber after every comment you make?....It's obvious you do care otherwise you wouldn't be coming back everyday and pretending like you don't care and that you don't give a shit if people think you're hot or not.....you obviously do, thats why you changed your pic several times to make people think otherwise and stating that you are in fact "hot shit".....You should probably stop embarrassing yourself and move on with you life or go play in traffic or something.
missypoo 0
http://www.myspace.com/156906923 might be britney, if it isn't, the girl still has a HUGE forehead, like britney's. twins!