Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I tried to strike up a conversation with someone in an elevator by commenting on the "beautiful view." We were in a windowless elevator, heading for the basement parking lot. I then had to try and appear less psychotic to avoid freaking them out even more. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a coworker I barely know. My stomach thought that it was time to remind me I hadn’t eaten breakfast. It growled like a dying whale, and my coworker gave me a concerned look. To make it worse, the elevator got stuck for five minutes. We stood in awkward silence, with my stomach making noises the whole time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
makaramiracles 18
D'aww. 99.3% of my generation sucks, sorry OP.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Should've told her to go **** herself. And then you should've shoved the phone up her ass. :P Yeah she's young, I guess, but that doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit. If they don't get taught a lesson, they won't learn.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (315)
panicsdisaster 17
Justin bieber fans..
XtraXtra00Table 6
Haha
YourAddictionx 9
I'm a Justin Bieber fan but I'm definitely not disrespectful like her. Don't judge a whole group of people based on some peoples actions... I will admit, some of us are very very crazy, but not all.
mtrrace 4
It was a joke
mhopper 13
I would have taken her cellphone and smashed it!
A7X_LoVeee 10
Right there with ya. I would've taken that cell phone and thrown it down to the first floor. Bitch, please.
Ch0sen 13
Sure, it's a great plan and probably one of the first things any of us would want to do - until you find yourself forced by the long dick of the law to replace it out of your own pocket. Few other things scream "**** my life" more than forking out multiple Benjamins for something she's going to use to shit-talk you even more with.
windycityassasin 6
I don't know, you're a complete stranger to her with no way of her tracking you down save for mall cameras. As long as the elevator has no cameras and you play it smart, you can get away with it.
IndigoFuckYou 9
This is exactly what I would do. And then I'd spend the rest of the elevator ride lecturing her on manners. It wouldn't be so hard to get away with.
mtrrace 4
Makes you wonder what her parents are like
mrz1177 11
Screw her, what the **** does she know??
Ch0sen 13
No, no, please don't screw her, those genes are better off unreplicated outside of her body.
WearingHats 14
Apparently she knows what a pregnant sperm whale looks like.
senor_awesome 14
She knows everything, apparently. Just like everyone else her age...
Oley 27
100% agreed! :)
mrz1177 11
I'd have shoved that phone up her ass and been like "give birth to that bitch"!
kishuu_fml 1
I'd have slapped her in the face.
mikeofthunder 13
She clearly hasn't seen Driver - nasty stuff can happen in an elevator
revieced 13
since he could get in trouble for hitting a young girl, i think the best solution would be to get closer to her, look her in the eyes and spit on her fkin face :D lmao
ManInTheMachine 20
If you'd done what was very obviously necessary, your username would be 'pimpslapaquired'. And we'd all be watching a viral video of two teenage girls duking it out in a crowded mall.
suchaprettygirl 4
While your pimp slap comment was very funny, the part about the video is false. The op is a guy and we don't have a clue about age.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You're making it sound like OP was the one who acquired a pimp slap.
ManInTheMachine 20
35-Oh shit, my mistake. :) There I go speculating again. 85-Take it how you will.
Llama_Face89 34
35- well he acted like a girl in that elevator. No balls.
poppysoda 4
It's kids like these that need to be spanked.
Ch0sen 13
There's a point at which spanking is horribly inadequate. Let's try baseball bat, shall we?
awagh666 14
You should've tripped the little runt on her way out and laughed your ass off.
duckiegirl21 10
I believe you mean **** ;)
Altie 13
You should stand up for yourself, if you don't, nobody will.
superswagbro 7
The nerve of some people shocks me.