Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML
Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
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Top comments
InnocenceBlue 38
Make a date for another night and make sure your gf knows how disappointed you are. On one hand it sucks that you missed out but the bigger picture is that you have an awesome girlfriend. Chin up x
emanhernandez 22
Damn dude sucks for you
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Comments (68)
emanhernandez 22
Damn dude sucks for you
MdMan3 17
Oh, if only there was a button to express this emotion…
mds9986 24
If only there was a button you could use that, I don't know, produces a negative score and hides said comment, if you didn't like their comment.
milehigh52 22
@45 kinda hypocritical for you to say that. Don't ya think?
mds9986 24
Yes, but the point still stands.
Soloman212 28
Actually it doesn't. A thumbs down doesn't fully convey the message "There's a button for that." Which is also why you had to leave a comment to explain that to them. On the other hand, there IS a button that fully conveys "man that sucks." So their comment made sense, yours was hypocritical.
mds9986 24
By saying "there's a button for that," you are clearly just conveying that you dislike the comment and think it's stupid. These people aren't actually trying to tell them there is a button for it literally.
FoopaShoopa 12
You missed out! FYL.
megs925 16
Well maybe she'll reward you in the morning ;)
InnocenceBlue 38
Make a date for another night and make sure your gf knows how disappointed you are. On one hand it sucks that you missed out but the bigger picture is that you have an awesome girlfriend. Chin up x
yenze 18
Considering what he missed out on, on one hand indeed
leogachi 15
@4 Why should he make sure that his girlfriend knows he was disappointed?
yenze 18
To show that her effort although was not enjoyed but appreciated
Malsain_fml 10
Well, if we think about it, she probably was just horny and needed some action. Ok, the scene is nice and everything, but I can't help thinking that the same scene exchanging genders would not rise the same reactions. Like she is making him a favor or whatever.
leogachi 15
@57 I don't see how he can be disappointed about missing something that it sounds like he wasn't expecting, but if he wants to express that her effort was appreciated then he should just say that it was appreciated.
Selene1090 26
Uh, if my bf greeted me from a long day at work in lingerie I'd be turned on. But, joking aside, don't make it a sexism thing. If my bf greeted me in just his boxers, I'd be up for it
Malsain_fml 10
It's just that to my opinion, if a girl does so, she's nice, she's making efforts and is wonderful, while the guy is lucky. And if a guy does that, he is an obssesed bastard who won't let his gf rest after a hard day of work. But eventually, they both do it because they want to first of all. In both case I think it's nice anyway. I am just not willing to make her a perfect girl and fall into the "oh so cuuuute" wave of comment.
Selene1090 26
People like you don't help the sexism issue. You make it worse. Your comment was unnecessary and it was stupid. I get where you're trying to go with it, but again, its unnecessary. Some people react that way, but a lot of people don't anymore. I, a female, would be thrilled if my bf greeted me that way after a long day at work and I'm sure many other females would as well. Everyone has different preferences though, including men.
derangedplanet 23
Honestly it all just depends on who's being selfish. if I did this to my husband I would be the one being selfish. because I'm always up for it. and he always takes convincing. if he did this for me I would be amazed and he would be doing it for me. sexism isn't what applies here. who lusts who is what applies. here's another example. I don't eat very often. it drives my husband crazy. he loves to eat. if I came home to a great big meal that he bugged me trying to convince me to eat it wouldn't be a favor. it'd be a pain. it's not that he is a he. it's that he did it because he was bothered by me not eating. it has to do with goals and wants, not gender.
SashaTaras 26
**** blocked by a train
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Cockblocked by work! Sucks to suck OP, but at least you're dedicated
ber4fun 23
Ah, the joys of not having a car. *sarcasm *
braysdada24 4
Oh man I feel for you, been there before. Just make sure your girl knows you tried to get there. Then just make up for it another night
Tripartita 45
If you call Dom Cobb, he might let you borrow his weird suitcase machine. You could join her in her dreams in a matter of minutes. You've never had sex until you've done it inside a tesseract.
justDrive 6
Wake her up with oral :D
DanCastellaneta 17
Uh... "her"? Where are you going with this?
oiler 21
Thats a bullshit move. if a guy did that to a girl im sure they would break up.
ericp96 10
I thinks that what he meant
SystemofaBlink41 27
I still don't get how "her" was the confusing part for you.
justDrive 6
Guys I meant go down on her... Only OP knows his girlfriend's do's and don'ts but I also know some girls wouldn't mind waking up to oral. And no, not just sticking your dick in her mouth you gotta have some respect guys.
Myo_fml 20
I don't see a problem with lightly waking her and coaxing her. I'm okay with my boyfriend doing that and most of the time if I don't have somewhere to be in the morning, I'm on board. sometimes, I'm a lot more sensitive after just waking up too so it's a win win. one of our best sessions ever in my opinion was a middle of the night woken up romp.
Jackimo98 24
Technically sexual assault if you start when she's asleep
scyth3s 13
Technically that law is retarded in most cases...
DoomedGemini 38
That's why it should be talked about before trying it. Some people aren't okay with it, others would be overjoyed. Communication on what's okay and what isn't is very important.