Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
did you rock them motha fuckas?
MissMess 12
So, not a onesie fan?
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Comments (163)
nyxiny 22
Well, was it comfy?
qr_fml 21
I'm not even sure how to comment on this....
ilovedinosawers 17
Then don't.
scr_sensei 14
This isn't how.
imessedwithtexas 13
Run, Bro.
rg350dx 29
Gunna be hard to in that pajama onesie.
eyesmile27 7
Was she trying to be kinky? Or was she trying to feel what it's like to molest a child? That's some effed up shit. Bolt right now!
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Hey onesies are cute. Me and my girlfriend both have them.
dakkat720 6
How did this ever pass as a hood FML
Wizardo 34
Hopefully it had built-in socks and a Batman design... if not at least Zebra flannel.
karlcolt45 19
I'm listening...DO NOT STOP TALKING
perdix 31
I like **** with drawn out intros. It lets me get my popcorn ready (and cover it) and my soda (and cover it) and my array of lotions (and cover them). I'm ready, now. OK, she's dressed you up in children's PJs, now what?
perdix 31
#29, of course, you dare ask. Cover them with heavy duty plastic sheeting, 9 mil thick or better. Why I'm covering them, you may not dare ask ;)
flockz 20
is it so you don't spill them perdix? *innocent face*
perdix 31
#34, congrats! You got it on the first guess!
JACKxRAWR 22
We just need OP to have a ballin' mustache and some 80s porno music on in the background.
abrookec2011 14
That was soooo dirty.
thew_fml 14
why and how did you not follow through with this????
Enslaved 38
Maybe she has "A Christmas Story" fetish? Pink bunny PJs are hot!
perdix 31
#31, "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny!"