Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
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Top comments
TheHarvest 7
remember cardio!
SasaCeceGogo 18
Your answer: Watch The Walking Dead.
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Comments (147)
desertlovebird 11
I have a baseball bat so come and hang with me and be bait if your that skilled..
knick64 7
Step 1: Get rich through hard work and effort Step 2: Start a school that teaches zombie survival skills to anyone who can pay (minus the dangerous psychos). Step 2.1: Hire teachers of these skills while avoiding hiring dangerous psychos Step 3: Once business takes off take your own class and get murdered by a dangerous psycho -feel free to add on
generalasskicker 12
Don't suck it'll help
Satoaoi 13
play some zombie games or watch zombie movies they will teach u alllll you need to know
Ozxkar 6
You are stupid!!
Grimnirwher9 21
Don't feel too bad about it. Most people lack those skills. Hence "apocalypse".
jasdanu 12
Watch Zombieland and imitate Tallahassee.
deaddonkey 15
It's OK the apocalypse hasn't happened yet. More time to practice and make the skills better.
dunn_dav95 4
Yeah me too.
gaarraa11 3
Just grab some jug get 3000 more points grab speed cola. Get a nice gun and upgrade it in the pack a punch. Rape train at higher amounts of zombies. When you see you have only 1 or 2 more have a buddy distract them while you spam the mystery box and get a good gun and upgrade since you ran out of ammo on your other one. Remember this and you will live! :-)