Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, I went to my colleague’s apartment so we could talk about a project for work over dinner. One thing led to another and the sexual tension we couldn’t unleash at work for months got to the best of us. It was the best sex I ever had and I want to come back for more. I just wish I didn’t have a wife at home. FML
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
Johnaldo 3
At least you're more fun than homework...
kaijapapaya 0
meh, don't take it personally. instead, have some school teacher role-play sex. he's been pretty naughty for not doing his homework, right? ;)
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Comments (46)
Johnaldo 3
At least you're more fun than homework...
kotomi 0
everything is more fun than homework -_-
MissGrinch 4
D: I disagree! Homework is so much fun! The learning! The difficulty! The moment when I can exclaim, "I have conquered thee!" >:)
MissErikaHart 0
well u had a good romp, no fml here
KingDingALing 9
What the ****? Romp? Hahahahahahahaha
nerdsgetmehot 23
Ooh, OP decided to great creative with her words and use a phrase other than "my husband and I ******." So what? The creative wording is so much more fun to read. :P Sorry if I sound snippy. I guess that's what happens when I comment on FMLs at 5:30 am...
Hayman68 4
hey, if nerds get you hot, youll love me
RedPillSucks 33
@7 we do the same thing with sex The learning! - Today I learned that my girl friend is really kinky The difficulty! - She wanted me to do some Kama Sutra position called "lotus on pole" The moment when I can exclaim, "I have conquered thee!" >:) -- That's what she said! FML.
MissGrinch 4
28, I didn't think of it that way. I feel so uncool. D:
RedPillSucks 33
You're not uncool. You just do waaaay too much homework.
iHOOT4Hooters 0
Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Husband: Um, I was really busy. Teacher: With what? Husband: Well, I had some Sex Ed. homework, and also some Physical Education homework. Teacher: So? Husband: So, I decided to combine them into one, and practice on my wife.
MadPercussion 0
wtf is romp? pfff hahaha
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
well I bet it worked
paid2think 0
Daaaammmnnn look at that donut!!
coolster56 0
woof woof
ILoveMyXbox 0
He's a desperate sunv bitch
Freeze_fml 17
Offer him some extra credit.
xxElle 0
lol!
valtraxman69 0
Guess you can say you're better to do than homework. OH YEAH!
iSexxxy 0
He probably didn't know what to say.
fanbat 0
my mikshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like mine better than yours damn right its better that yours
kaijapapaya 0
meh, don't take it personally. instead, have some school teacher role-play sex. he's been pretty naughty for not doing his homework, right? ;)
psuboy 0
hahahaha
PrincessPaytonn 0
that is such a good idea :)
FYLDeep 26
I wonder what he'd do for a Klondike bar...
MissGrinch 4
...after he answers how many licks does it take to get to the center- Never mind.
Arsonnist 3
His homework? Maybe not.
RedPillSucks 33
Three. The wise owls says it takes three. Maybe he meant "threesome"