Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
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Top comments
TheHarvest 7
remember cardio!
SasaCeceGogo 18
Your answer: Watch The Walking Dead.
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Comments (147)
SweetLuna 10
Better get to it and shape up man.
alpacamybooks 11
YDI for not being prepared.
fatman1970 25
As zombies are FICTION there's nothing to worry about. Even if it did come true, there's one thing the movies and TV shows leave out - DEAD THINGS ROT!!!!! Flies and bacteria would sort it all out in weeks.
taltamir 6
Surviving a zombie apocalypse is as locking the door and waiting for a day or two for all the zombies to die out.
iRaTTaZZi 11
watch the ZOMBIELAND....u might learn something
rageai 1
No joke? I'm taking a course this term called 'sustainability and the zombie apocalypse'. lol
doglover100 29
I don't think I'd survive either.
Countryboy1996 18
I know h
Countryboy1996 18
I know no one will read this, but I wanted to tell y'all why a zombie apocalypse is impossible, per astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson (and in my opinion the smartest man alive). "Without a functioning circulatory system distributing oxygenated blood, a zombie's muscle tissue would succumb to rigor mortis. They couldn't even stand, let alone walk! They would have no desire to eat brains because their fatty tissue would have stopped producing Leptin, which produces the sensation of hunger in the first place!" So your zombie apocalypse plans are completely useless.
flamebushido 13
You have to understand though that despite other people having the skills or physique in order to survive, you first have to pass the disease phase in which the majority of the population will fail so even if you are fit and incredibly skilled, it doesn't make you immune and chances are you're going to be an alpha zombie