Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
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Top comments
TheHarvest 7
remember cardio!
SasaCeceGogo 18
Your answer: Watch The Walking Dead.
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Comments (147)
cd8919 12
Always remember the double tap.
Enslaved 38
Make sure you get slower friends.
zombieslayer83 19
I always keep a fat friend with me! You know just Incase.
ICastillo 25
Same here #61 can never be to safe right....
mosquito19 14
your brain will probably give zombie a serious diarrhea.
TheDrifter 24
The apocalypse is close. I gave a presentation at a college a few weeks ago and there was a disturbing amount of vacant staring and drooling in the audience.
hannaaaahr 33
that probably says more about your way of speaking than the amount of zombies. also, do zombies even have drool?
GTAmax99 12
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
jarrettd 27
Remember to fasten your seatbelt.
pattayarick 8
Don't worry, you're safe. They only eat brains.
Casper19 12
Sounds like you need to start learning fast or you're gonna be screwed when the time come.
Werken247 14
That awkward moment, when a zombie hungry for brains, passes you by.
Chaylbs_Draco 8
Just remember, guns are great but bullets run out. Get a trusty baseball bat and a cold steel machete ;). Then work on your cardio