Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
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Comments (102)
ladiesman14 0
i saw a marathon runner who threw up had violent diarehha as she was crossing the finish line. RUNNING away from the problem will not help.
FromCFL 0
It's probably all in your head--Damn!! What IS that god-awful smell??
someoneelsenotyo 0
This is a real condition, I have it. I've had to deal with this for the past 13 years. It does get better overtime as you learn to control your emotions. You have to kill your more "extreme" end emotions. You must prepare yourself before you get into a situation that you might get excited that you'll know you'll get excited. I know that sounds weird but it will make sense to you eventually. It is, in fact, all in your head, and that's where you defeat it. You cannot let stress get to you, you must let emotional situations "pass through you" and not take a hold of you. It's hard to explain but eventually you'll learn how to not become nervous or excited about anything. I've gotten to the point where I only get attacks when I'm nervous or excited about a girl. It used to be every little thing would set it off. And yeah, as others had said, explaining this to people is always a tough thing. Cause a) they don't believe you, and b) laugh and joke about it. For the naysayers look up "Functional Gastronomical" conditions. You won't find it on Google easily cause it's not a very common condition.
ozymandias_fml 0
Don't worry. You are only 3 once -- and only for a year. I would like to compliment the OP on being able to type this all by himself. If you are *not* 3, grow the **** up.
someoneelsenotyo 0
For someone that calls themselves ozymandias you sure don't do much to educate yourself.
tony8pie 0
Epitome of FML. There's nothing you can do to deserve that. Well done!
paxa_fml 0
hehheheee, im sorry..
chabz_fml 0
wow that sucks. i feel ur pain. i had something like that at the beginning of the year, because i started highschool, the waking up earlier and stress really threw me off. that was only for a couple weeks and it was really bothersome and depressing. FYL
Kickass89 0
Well mine is better I faint sometimes when I poop yeah.... What's up now vanilla face
Gregory7 0
J.D. on scrubs had that WIN
dELiA14 0
hahahahah this MADE my day well that and my crush asking me to be his girlfriend(: aha yur life SUCKS! mine doesn't :D
Deadbydawn87 0
op get over yourself. I am 30 years old and have had ibs as long as I can remember. nut up or shut up.