Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous. Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich. In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.
Faithful_Jewel 0
That's one very unfortunate condition. Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.
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Comments (102)
pissmeoff 0
Man the worst period of my life was when i had 1 hour 20 minute bus ride to school everyday during HS with this condition. I would try to meditate to peaceful music everyday, but still 50+% of the time i ended up sprinting off the bus to the bathroom practically in tears. One time I didn't make it. Luckily no one was reallly sitting near me, and I hid it well enough. I pretended to be sleepy and got off the bus last.
Natacha_fml 0
I know what that is. It really sucks. My mum has it. It's Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Google it. Or follow this link: http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/ibs/
YungMarlon23 0
Damn... bein nervous bout gettin nervous is almost like failing at failing... but honestly, that condition is kinda messed up..
molacolacake 0
Man I have that, too, except it's not always necessarily nerves. It's like my body knows that I just decided to go shopping and as soon as I get into the store my stomach starts cramping up. Hurray!
cheerchick4life 0
that's gross
400am 0
to number 29. depression is not just " in your head". in some cases it can be. but in others the chemicals. such as serotonin and dopamine can be unbalanced. causing physical depression. figure this out before commenting untrue things.
fuzz97 23
so you are constantly ******** yourself then?
pinkskipper 0
I'm sorry but this made me laugh! just because of the irony! poor thing!
telebaba 1
hahahaha! cute!
santiago10 0
just smoke some weed =]