Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML
Today, I rejected a girl I work with because I have a girlfriend. That girl then posted on Facebook that she'd friendzoned me for being creepy. My girlfriend saw the post, believed it, and dumped me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush out. Also today, she changed her Facebook status to "In a relationship." I'm so damn lonely. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, the girl that I had a crush on for over a year, from whom I recently moved on from, told me that she likes me. I’m dating a new girl. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
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Top comments
qt_314 5
Did you ask these girls out over Facebook...
kAPISH 29
Wait... did you ask her out by a relationship status on FACEBOOK?! What has the world come to...
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Comments (79)
headrefkyle 4
Why would you ask her out by sending a relationship request on Facebook. -___-
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
Slow your roll.
HowieDoIt 21
You can always keep one for a girlfriend, and one to help raise your score in draw something
hanymandy 6
Lol good one
Catkam623 27
Very nice
DocBastard 40
You GOT a new girlfriend? Did you inflate her right away, or did you at least try some foreplay first?
MalzxTheTerrible 4
Oh, snap! Somebody run the OP under some cold water, because he just got burned! I'm new pretty new here, Doc, but I already like your humor.
cgchamp89 7
Putting cold water on a burn is a terrible idea, and your comment sucked too.
hannaaaahr 33
I think he didn't ask his gf over Facebook, but the deal is that since his gf saw this girl he liked a while ago accepted his friend request she overreacted and thought he was cheating on her simply because he is friends with the other girl on Facebook. If this makes any sense.
turkturkington 13
16 - I tried 3 times to get to the end of your comment, but my head hurt too badly every time because of the lack of punctuation.
Dusty_Busters 15
Wrong idiot! try to read again
OhhKristin 11
did you ask out like 8 girls at once by sending them Facebook relationship requests?
Silent_Thrill 17
He's a man who likes to play the odds. At some point, some girl will go along with it.
kurodansei 16
yup i think thats exactly what jappened
senor_awesome 14
That awkward moment when two girls say yes, but yous still end up alone...
onorexveritas 24
why would you try to get with two girls? on facebook? wow. was your new gf like a fall back?
Cherryheart 22
Facebook is taking control of the whole universe... it has already begun
HowieDoIt 21
Convert to Mormonism, easy solution
perdix 31
It's called "playing the field." You don't need to rush into exclusivity so fast. Again, I am reminded of an old joke, but this time, it's short enough to fit here: An old bull and a young bull climb to the top of a hill and look down on a pasture full of cows. The young bull says, "Hey, let's run down the hill and **** a cow!" The old bull replied, "No, let's walk down the hill and **** 'em all."
Silent_Thrill 17
Why buy the cow when you can drink the milk for free? Why drink the milk when you can **** a cow? Why **** a cow when you can **** all the cows!?
DKjazz 20
**** yo cowch.
Dusty_Busters 15
You're an idiot..,