Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Stop forcing your nuts on women and we won't have this problem, hm?
threeputtgreen 0
no means no
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Comments (375)
DameGreyWulf 1
She said "no," not "no I don't have the money" or "not today" or anything like that. Why the hell would you assume...?
ElNegroHombre 0
So you think she said no because of the 50 cents? What a dumbass.
penguinlord 0
I call this one fake. The lady would have seen the peanuts before eating it
zack767 0
but kid who go to school that can't touch someone that's eaten peanuts shouldn't be in a public school parent with those kinds of children don't get to attached
purple91 8
********. If someone doesn't want peanuts, don't give them peanuts. This may surprise you but not everyone likes peanuts. Assuming this fml is real, I'd be right in saying you're fired now? :)
DrunkenValor 0
HI, I'm Chris Hansen.
tg20_fml 0
I'd be surprised if there isn't charges or a suit. Or at least have to pay for medical expenses.
teiso_fml 0
He'd at the very least get fired.
DameGreyWulf 1
Haha, I always get asked multiple times "You don't want any cheese?" at the Subway in my college. There are people who do find it hard to believe....
Intoxicunt 6
Lmfao. *Dies*
YelloAsylum 0
Have you ever heard the saying: "No means no"?
freddy8289 1
wow u dumbass. couldnt hav gone through ur head tht she just didnt even like peanuts? i hate peanuts and if someone did tht to me i'd be ****** pissed talkin to the manager
joshizzle3 1
lol client? wtf