Today, after we had sex for the first time, my boyfriend shouted, “Huzzah! My genes will live on!” We used a condom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, despite a condom, an IUD, and my boyfriend getting a vasectomy, I still managed to get pregnant. It was my first and only time having sex and I don’t want kids, ever. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he pulled up his pants and said, "There you go." FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
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Top comments
Mariah Malcolm 6
keep using them
Chazzster 32
Unless you are in charge of the birth control you cannot be sure if you are being sabotaged or potentially impregnated against your will. GET ON THE PILL!
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Comments (9)
ViviMage 40
Apples REALLY don't fall far from the tree!
Chazzster 32
Unless you are in charge of the birth control you cannot be sure if you are being sabotaged or potentially impregnated against your will. GET ON THE PILL!
xGod305x 2
you are definitely dating the wrong type of men...
Mariah Malcolm 6
keep using them
DoctorPALO 14
Hope he didn't sabotage them. You better get serious about your own protection or finding a mate who isn't an idiot.
RichardPencil 32
Who says "Huzzah?"
Marcella1016 32
Honestly I felt like that was the real FML here.
Jonathan Riedel 10
The people on this platform are so negative. It was just an innocent joke... Maybe he was talking about them perhaps some day no longer using condoms?
phybreawptic 13
Hopefully the LARPers don't hear about this.
tounces7 28
Honestly I feel like he said that mostly because he never expected to get laid in the first place and now he has hope.