Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Stop forcing your nuts on women and we won't have this problem, hm?
threeputtgreen 0
no means no
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Comments (375)
fuzz97 23
SHE DIDN'T WANT NUTS, DUMBASS
h8trsspreadlikfi 0
ok who said the guy must be canadian? let me explain something to YOU dumbass I AM CANADIAN so let me see what your point is you think canadians are dumb am i right? well WE'RE NOT andto the the guy who wrote this FML let me tell you when people say no they mean NO not well if you wan to put it on for free go ahead so to "he must be canadian" guy dont assume people are canadian because of what they do thats just WRONG and it makes yo ook dumb and immature have a nice day see you in hell
senseofreason 0
I love how you called her a "client" . way to glamorize pouring frozen milk into cups.
Pikalu1 3
You totally deserved it. Peanuts are a very common allergy, most people could afford the extra fifty cents, and you also deserve it for thinking everything is about you. Why would you assume she likes you. And, you could have killed her! You d*ck.
buzzerbeeeeee 0
awww. she should've known she was eating peanut.
lcr90 0
I am allergic to peanuts as well so I can tell you that she could have die...I would have been very very very very very very very very very very very very mad at you if I was the customer. be careful kiddo
ninjacatz 0
YOU ARE A ******* RETARD!!!
truehitman2010 0
your an idiot
Headcrab 29
how can you work at a placewhere they serve food and be this reluctant about allergies. You could have killed her.
splarf1991 0
your dumb as shit GD!!