Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today, I satisfied my woman. FML" REALLY?
mintcar 10
At least you gave her an ****** OP.
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Comments (58)
GabbyCharityM 0
At least your getting some bacon ;D
jbird1193 3
stby, old McDonald.
wolve86 0
this story brought to you by Kermit the frog
brandybaby1204 0
at least u got her there dude. that's nothin to complain about in my opinion.
dudeitsdanny 10
Did you know that a test showed that, on average, men make more disturbing/weird/gross sounds and faces during sex than women? Quit complaining. I'm sure your chimp-like grunting and weird faces aren't exactly appealing, either. Stfu. I'd love to know what your girlfriend thinks you sound like. Man up, and stop whining like a little boy.
ballwiz24 0
what test was this?
Zombieslayer1 0
Today me and my girl had great sex I even made her ****** and all. fml.
airborn54 0
that's hot
Easye123 0
lol. my ex's nickname was piglet o_O could be one in the same
blueeyedwolf 10
You are an ass OP. I bet you look/act/sound just as, if not more stupid than she does.
CaptainPickles72 18
I'm surprised no one made a Deliverance reference!
hockeyrocks39 0
You almost did... "Squeal like a pig boy!"