Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
That's snot good.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Upon reading this FML I think I cringed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Fyl
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Comments (129)
tech1200mk5 6
I can't deny that I wish I could release much more than I do. I wonder if Peter North has any tips...
SecundusSecunda 27
It'd be cool if there was a way to increase it, but I don't really see any positives to doing so other than it would make for better visuals
thisguy22 33
Try edging.
CptCanada 3
Be careful what you wish for. I'm cum a lot now and it makes me think back to the golden days of jerking off when nothing would come out.
Ananochi 2
Its a "Flaming Dragon" - What a gift!
illmatica 17
Skeet skeet skeet skeet
Bragi 12
Keep up the good work, OP!
sillygirl247 14
I don't get it
noone2 15
cause you're sillygirl247
schreibergx93 19
Some guys have heavier loads. Sorry it wasn't too pleasant for you op
tlnorman 18
Never heard of that before. Sorry OP that must have been very gross for you. Next time, if you want there to be, don't swallow, just excuse yourself and spit it down the toilet.
vikky538 29
He shoot it the wrong hole..
thisguy22 33
******** horror stories...who knew such a thing existed?
sanchogrim 18
You ******* win #1! Lmfao