Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
That's snot good.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Upon reading this FML I think I cringed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Fyl
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Comments (129)
sdlr32787 18
White Dragon!!!
SunshineBoy_fml 16
that wouldn't have been nice...
Aspirax 13
Impressive
fmlforreal2015 20
That's what I call a fire breathing dragon ;) but that really sucks op fyl
9a_1z 12
Now I feel bad for relentlessly mocking my partner for thinking he had come so hard it had shot out my nose. Really it had just landed on it, I didn't realise it was actually possible!
Witchylady 18
I guess he enjoyed it a little too much.
daveshira 3
Take it as a compliment. It means you did good
LonelyCoyote 3
He should have warned you... And you can pull off at the last minute if you want :) the way I see it if you are willing to put his penis in your mouth you make the rules! There is always next time ;)
BaronVonStudley 9
Mean people suck Nice people swallow
lumene 17
You're not the only one...