Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
That's snot good.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Upon reading this FML I think I cringed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Fyl
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Comments (129)
tbangazak3 7
Good job!
tin_cup 27
Love your user name. Careful you don't becum a dicked
gohaz933 9
Quite a sticky situation you got there
MadeUpUsername 13
I feel third party embarrassment for you.
kitty_Kat777 10
I literally did that and my nose started bleeding so bad I had to go to the hospital
hipyg123 6
That's called an angry dragon. You're welcome.
MissxMiDNiTE 10
That sounds very similar to a "cum walrus" xD
Cavsfodawin 21
This is the second hardest i have ever cringed. The first hardest was while i was browsing memes, and i saw a gif of someone putting a piece of paper in the tip of their dick and sliding it really fast. I hsd sympathy dick pains.
Guy_In_The_Cornr 11
Argh "The Angry Dragon" strikes again
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I guess you should have swallowed? Must have been a good one! And I'm seriously thinking this should become a meme. :D