Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
cer_fml 2
...to all you so good hearted people saying if it's true love: you are such a bullshitter.
1970chevelless 0
Damn...thats fn sad. Since im a guy; i feel sorry for him
bluebird0020 2
.....OWNED. God. That is the ultimate fail for you. way to pick 'em.
splarf1991 0
should not matter if you truly love him
Bleacher 4
Both sides of this argument have a valid point. She has a right to not be fully satisfied, its just human nature, sex is part of life. Just because she wishes he was bigger doesn't indicate that she doesn't love him. Shes only being irrational if she leaves him for it. Otherwise, theres nothing truly wrong with it. As logically as I'm looking at this though, its slightly immoral to complain, and post about something that matters so much the guys on a public site. If i was in his situation, id be pretty embarrassed about all of this.
alecs0716 2
lol. just ask your girlfriend for a handj*b everyday. :P
tink282 0
good news is he's prolly really good with his hands.... and mouth Usually guys who feel they are small are more open to trying new things and are more in tune with or focused on wat makes u feel good rather than wat gets them off wether it be with toys or watnot Besides having a large/average sized dick does not make them good in bed and to everybody who made negative comments about him or her she has every right to be disappointed upset or watever u want to say she maybe shouldn't have posted it online for everybody to see but by doing so she has gotten support from many ppl where if she hadn't she may have had to deal with it alone, its not exactly something that you would talk to friends and family about and no it's not right to judge someone by their size but that doesn't mean u should pretend its nothing The negative connotation associated with having a so called small dick is wrong in my experience ppl who are larger even some who r average r very selfish... the best lover Ive ever had was wat most ppl consider to be small
SupermanXL 3
set the cell on vibrate and tell him to call you over and over. as a thank you, show him you appreciate the convenience of his size by 'deep' throating him.
Dezteny 5
Why even compare the two? Do you often have sex with your cell phone? Look at it this way; guys who are well endowed slack off because they think they can. Guys with smaller ones work harder for it because they feel they have something to prove, and the sex usually ends up being much better.
tylerquick99 0
mine is bigger than that and I'm 11 years old