Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
imreallyhigh 0
it's not a Peter unless it's 12 inches
ljdd2009 0
He may be the love of your life but he ain't gonna give you the love of your life ;)
EllieMaxine 0
bahaha micropenis ftl.
Navith 13
That's exactly what I thought when I read this
whiteguy12 0
two words "male enhancements"
asphaltdog34 0
most of the l the womens nerve endings are in the 1st 3 inches of the ******, so with a 3 1/2" penis she can still be easily pleased, and they make toys now that can help the sex with someone that is not very endowed, and all they guys on here that are laughing saying how big their cocks are, yea I'm sure they are all on the same short boat as him, it's easy to boast and lie from a phone or a computer.....
MrCheizel 0
that sucks dick. well not much dick. I feel sorry for the both of you. maybe enhancements?
veerla 0
it sucks, but you should love him the way he is, and surely if hes the love of your life!
NinjaSmurf777 0
Did you measure it or something?
AnaCristina_fml 0
hahhaahhahahahahaahhahaha im sorryyyyy! lololol :D
gabr131 0
15 an 13in no lie!