Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
thealmityking 4
you have my pity
BonJovi821 3
It's shallow bitches like you that are to blame for this whole penis size argument. I don't think you would like it if he came on complaining about you if you had small boobs.
myachi 6
give him a chance
Scotticus117 11
wow and I thought I was small cuz I'm like 5.5. (apparently slightly below average). but 3.5. is he Asian? lol. didn't even know that was possible
kierikatastrophe 0
haha time to get the toys out
forza_italia88 2
look i feel sorry for you but its not that bad. the g-spot is actually only about 2 inches deep inside the ****** so if he can reach that then sex can still be good for you! at least hes not so big that hes going to rip you to shreds with it
360thegrimus 0
lol fail
Skatejock21 0
and your point is?? despite the fact that I'm bigger then that... leave him alone, everyone was created differently, he probably can easily find something to criticize about you, and he most likely already tells himself your flaw in his head. This isn't an FML, since it was your choice to be with him, live with it, and don't be picky.
jenna5960 7
To be honest some of the best sex I ever had was with a guy who wasn't "gifted" If you love him you can make it work for you. Good luck!
nitewlf12 10
Hey, your cell phone also vibrates. Dump the guy and go to town!