Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (572)
wargasam 0
im better than that:) my penis can solve your problem
u_r_idiot 1
then use the cell phone on vibrate
marissabunge23 0
haha lmao...that would be sick.
JoeMan13 0
hahaha damn poor dude!! buy him some extenz :)
MissMaryContrary 3
According to research done by Masters and Johnson, the average size of a flaccid penis is about 2.8 to 4.3 inches in length. Erect, the average penis is between 4.5 - 5.75 inches in length. Contrary to social stigmas and stereotypes, a penis any bigger than that does NOT give greater sexual pleasure. The length of the typical female ****** is 3 - 5 inches when unaroused and stretches to about 6 inches when aroused. If the penis is 6 inches or longer, it can actually make sex very uncomfortable if not downright painful. The vaginal opening is highly sensitive and has lots of nerve endings, however the inner 2/3rds of the ****** have little to no sensation at all. Some women report not even being able to feel the penis during intercourse. That is NOT because the man is "too small," that is because she just doesn't have very many nerve-endings inside her. So long as he can stimulate that outer 1/3rd of your ******, it's still going to feel good. Also, orgasms: 40% - 50% of woman can achieve ****** without direct stimulation of the ******** while the remaining 50% - 60% need clitoral stimulation. More recent studies have found that the main organ to stimulate orgasms in women is actually the brain. Some lucky women can even think themselves into ****** without ANY physical stimulus. Studies done by Masters and Johnson, Helen Kaplan, and Ladas, Whipple, and Perry have shown that it's possible that women can actually have up to 4 separate types of ****** depending on how they are stimulated. "Tenting" (clitoral stimulation), "A-frame" (vaginal stimulation), "blended" (stimulation of both the ******** and the ******), and Cervical or "massive" ****** (stimulation of the brain). (And then there is, of course, the elusive "g-spot" ****** but most scientists feel the theory of the g-spot to be disproved because they have been unable to locate it despite all studies and research). 15%-25% of women surveyed have said they can achieve multiple orgasms during sex and only 5%-10% of women have reported never being able to ****** at all under any circumstances. Long story short (excuse the pun), penis length has absolutely nothing to do with good sex. Penis THICKNESS can just because of the nerve endings at the vaginal opening but even then, good sex is mostly going to be in your head (no pun intended). So, if he truly is the love of your life, sex is probably going to be amazing. Just be sure to communicate what feels good and what didn't. Communication is the real key to good sex. (p.s. all information given is from Human Sexuality Today: Sixth Edition by Bruce M. King)
marissabunge23 0
there are guys that are like 10 that have bigger penis's than that..
lolylol_fml 5
FML FAIL
marissabunge23 0
why wouldn't you care..?
Lee002 8
YDI if you actually care
ovechkinisbeast 9
I'm bigger erect and I'm 13. but still YDI for calling him the "love of your life" yet complaining about something as simple as his penis size. just have him like eat you out or something if it's that bad for you.
What_Exactly 0
she has a right to be disappointed. who wouldnt? it's not like she's going to dump him.
Erindub 0
I feel for you OP. Size really does matter and anyone who says it doesn't is lying or a man who's kidding himself.