Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML
Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML
Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML
Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML
Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
thisisnotmyname 0
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were in a plastic baggie or something, not in a box. I know what pills you're talking about and they do look like Sprees.
Syn_fml 0
Well maybe you shouldn't eat everything that comes near your mouth.
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Comments (75)
DaBombb316 0
#14 and #18, both need to get your facts straight. Usually it is believed that the average person would only survive 3-4 weeks without any food, and less than 4 days without food or water. As far as fat people are concerned, they would not survive much longer, if any longer, because it is not a lack of calories that is killing people. Without the nutrients found in most food (carbohydrates is a big necessity, as well as the Essential Amino Acids) the brain begins to suffer damage very rapidly. Calories that come from digested fat cells only provide energy that can some of the body's other organs and muscles. The body will quickly start digesting proteins in the body to try and get some of the essential amino acids, as well as some of the other nutrients that are required. o ya and to the OP, that is just too funny. I might have to try and find those to mess with people ;)
thelonelylurker 0
At least you're getting fibre in your diet!
catatonicsleep 17
At least now you know what to do if you get constipated, eat a bag of oversized strawberry spree candies, or as someone else mentioned, a bar of exlax chocolate... Why would they make these things taste nice? No other medicine tastes nice...
anonymous0927 0
#3, FTW. people always use the word proceeded, they think it makes them sound cool. and your life is sort of f'd, I wouldn't say you deserved it.
allstarplayer324 0
the op is not neccessarily fat...why do you guys keep thinking this. My bf is rather skinny because he has really high metabolism and will eat almost any food and eats so much that it amazes me. He can eat two whole pizzas, two chipotles or 2 huge quiznos subs at one sitting and still be hungry. He isn't fat so stop assuming people are fat just because he eats sometimes. Maybe the op was looking for a snack? I eat snacks and other foods sometimes. I'm not fat. I weigh 130, am 5' 4" and work out and i'm healthy. Quit judging people.
callargh 0
Why the **** is everyone assuming she's fat? Like you've never eaten candy in your life before. Ever.
DuotonedRainbow 0
why does everyone assume this person is fat? :( you all are assholes. i mean, yeah, OP you prooobably deserved it for not paying attention to what you were eating, but shit, that sounds like something i'd do, and i'm a skinny bitch. i eat a loooooooooot. and anything that resembles candy would be GONE if it was me. jeeezus.
azhein 0
people should read the comments that are right before them so you don't read 6 in a row that say the exact same thing
elliekinslurvsya 0
wow, seriously? pay attention to things. that's ridiculous. YDI.
Bitts 0
Say "Fruit Flavored Fiber Pills" five times fast.
24788 7
lol, should of read the package more.