Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
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Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
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Comments (130)
mattsprettycool 0
hahahahaha, sucks to be you!
pedosmurf 7
Shit happens! :)
boatiebanter 0
Well, you did decide to go into that field of psychiatry... Still sucks though :(
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
chaos753159 4
not as shitty as those bags
trivel64 16
*ba dum tsss*
sunshyne84_fml 0
#1 how do u know where they're from? What makes u think all Americans use the same word? fyl
Zapurdead 3
Look at the small gray text under the FML: "United States (New York)"
fuckmeamiright 0
#1 what the **** man? where you're from every single person uses the same word for everything? that sucks. shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit oh weird i must not be american.
NonComedogenic 2
agreed I hate it when one person makes a generalization off of one occurrence
Darth_Taco 14
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!! If I knew you I'd probably hug you to make you feel better. After you shower about 30 times, of course (I'm paranoid about bacteria). Still, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!!
Juggalette_623 9
Here is one of those FML's that needs a little more info before you say FYL or YDI. Are you one of those bitchy nurses that completely pisses off your patients? If so YDI. OR Are you one of those nurses that deals with the patients after the first nurse (that acts like the first one described) leaves the room? If so FYL.
um_duh 0
#9 Noone deserves shit thrown at them. NOONE!
RitzyHoke 0
#10 please split noone into no one yeah? noone sounds like a typo of none. Anyway, And I thought I wanted to studying psychology. Oh well, next choice.
OhHushDear 11
Dude. You corrected their mistake and then totally killed the sentence after that. "I thought I wanted to studying psychology?" Lol learn the language before you gripe at other people for typos.
Synnie 0
...Well, I'm not choosing psychology. FYL