Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML
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Top comments
06dopey 8
assigned to an assassin. nice
jennawill10 10
Ever watched The Roomate? Yeah, you probably shouldn't now! :-/
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Comments (120)
pfclunchbox005 1
You can get her arrested for that threat
Zachthejoker 10
Good luck! Youre gonna need it
Phr0zen 11
She was probably trying to assert dominance and instill fear. You could also ask for another slightly sane roommate as I don't think everyone is 100% perfect and normal.
zm0nster 2
you got 1 out of 2.87 murders in the group
brevolorio 5
You need get yourself a bat to sleep with.
dtemple1110 6
Hah, just tell the cops and get a restraining order. That way, the people who assign your roommates will HAVE to change it.
fernclogger 5
You might as well say you are a cosmic deity and if she ever speaks blasphemy she will feel your wrath...
looneytoongirl 0
Sounds just like "The Roommate!"
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Tell her the door swings both ways and she has to close her eyes too.
teriyakioxo 4
I smell a sit com :D