Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML
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Top comments
biggestfan23 11
I think you may have a problem...
PvtParts417 15
Dude not at school! Control yourself
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Comments (316)
biggestfan23 11
I think you may have a problem...
boxbrandon11 20
What did you think of or look at?
airforce987 20
Only possible excuse is that your teacher is super hot.
afunnyterdcody 5
Haha no shit I learned about dolphin sex today by didn't need to go wank it
lopsop 12
.....,. ***********?
CaramelMacchiato 13
17 - It says it in the FML. Frogs.
eurostar710 11
I had to do this while watching Troy during Latin club one day. I hadn't done it in a couple days and all those hot guys turned me on so much. So, you're not alone.
kayla_ann0o 9
Yeah because when I'm horny I just run to the bathroom to play with myself.
Spanik 10
I would... Not over frogs though... Maybe over troy though. Makes it all the more exciting in public places.
laxbro4769 6
It's called amplexus. I just won a science class jeopardy with that answer the other day ;)
Fml_FTW228 10
Eurostar710- So you're gay?... Just wondering because your profile says mister.
dominic1221 6
Fml_FTW228- Well, he's probably not straight at least. Got a problem with that?
Drigr 9
Did anyone else read the FML and think, "Hey teach, I gotta go for a quick wank, be back in 2 minutes"?
starbucksguy 16
Why were you watching a video on how French people have sex anyway?
Fml_FTW228 10
Dominic1221- Ever heard of a question? Did you not see the "just wondering."
Inheritance 10
Imagine OP getting caught and made fun of, then the class throws frogs at him.
ajeyness 10
136- what does that have to do with anything?
starbucksguy 16
162:- because French people are frogs. This is a well-known fact
shea300 5
French people are commonly referred to as frogs.
dominic1221 6
Fml_FTW228- I know what a question is. The commenter said stuff about him being turned on by guys, and his profile says he's male, therefore he's clearly gay or bi. So your question was pointless and you look like you're trying to start something.
buddy565 7
He may just have a high sex drive...
chabooty27 7
That's kinda low especially since you're in school
justinhere 3
i like to hook up with the guy next to me......
stormer461 13
128 - to be honest I thought OP was a teacher so my entire thought process was "whaaaa?"
1x1y 12
I thought the same thing!!!
IcedJesus 5
Good to know
mariazzz 5
Whatever tickles your fancy op! ;)
kellandj2019 7
he never said he did, he was just asking
cashfast98 0
To many things if he got a boner on frog sex
italiancows 8
He might have a phobia of not getting horny when looking at frogs. Wich technically will force him to get horny while looking at frogs!
ebroks 17
When i was in Grade 9 one of my friends thought that **** meant piss so my next door neighbour and i joked about imagining him saying. BRB going for a Quick **** or Miss can i go to the bathroom for a quick ****.
PvtParts417 15
Dude not at school! Control yourself
j_cat187 20
Some people tell me that I need help, Some people can **** off and go to hell.
mauricioros21 0
Cypress hill! Dude ur awesome for knowing them!
kzxvazure 0
I was gonna comment the exact same thing
maosquare 18
So, was it a "pee" break or a "shit" break?
onlychildFTW 34
OP, you need SELF CONTROL!!! there's no need to wank every time you get horny.
WildInTheStreets 5
49, 52 - I am seeing them live soon.
Da_Bauss435 8
Hey, some schools even go so far as to sell condoms to the students
onlychildFTW 34
131 - actually? That's wrong. In a lot of ways.
kayla_ann0o 9
My school gives out free condoms and birth control. But for some reason all the girls are still pregnant.
bienlunee 6
Yes. There is. That is, in fact, the only reason.
wadevader 6
I do
Matty1188 6
167, I doubt that is the only issue here. Incredibly sad that a 14 yr old has two kids. Where are her parents??
br0ccoli 15
229- probably off working 3 jobs supporting their family to survive during this recession created by people whose kids go to $30,000/yr private high schools.
isofia85 0
If only she had a good sense of morals.
VoteForTaco 8
What the **** is wrong with people? 14 years old and is expecting a third kid!!?? People like that should ******* die. (That's just my opinion)
ShortNotice113 5
262- *cough cough Hitler cough Bin Laden cough cough*
mpfau797 0
But then again I bet the 14 year olds parents have designer clothes, iPhones, plasma tv's, and nice cars. The girl probably has the nicest of everything also. This country is so corrupt...
mpfau797 0
And also those private school kids are the ones who will help this world out and be educated. Also their parents ($30,000 school) are most likely hard working, educated people
xxxInsanexxx 9
237: How did private school kids create a recession? My god. You make it sound like private nice schools are a bad thing.
onlychildFTW 34
Private schools FTW!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Probably still in highschool
asinforasin 1
exactly how did kids creat a recession?
SBurrke 11
But that's what makes it naughty!
nobodylikesyou 3
Your not the only one that gets turned on by some frogs...
doctorhook86 25
Ah, puberty...
onealmxwilson 18
Yes, I believe Miss Piggy does as well.
rubberduckie94 13
Miss piggy is very turned on by frogs. I know.
CremeEggs 6
Mmmm frog reproduction... Makes me creme
Fml_FTW228 10
*You're
jizzwold 21
*insert fan pun*
Cappiej 18
96- That doesn't work with everybody, I see.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Princess tiana loves them froggies.
osomoso 7
It's totally normal;) don't even worry about it
eb0ny 15
Yeah, completely normal protocol. Frogs arouse everyone.
kandi_kid69 15
When the guy from another FML got aroused by pokèmon that was fine but frogs? Why frogs? :o
tellithowitis 13
Because their slimy backs and the way they stick their tongues out to catch flies... Oh yeah...
THE_A_TEEN 28
kandi_kid69, look up Gardevoir, hentai, Pokémon hentai. Then look up frog sex or whatever you put. There is your answer.
day624 14
Ya fantasizing over frogs.. Psh completely normal.. Its just a phase..ehemm..NOT
icallbullshit 3
A. He didn't fantasize over frogs. B. he had a frog reproduction class, which will make him think of sex, which will get him horny. C. Everyones' mind works different and takes things like frog reproduction and then thinks of human reproduction. D. Love seeing girls comment on shit they don't know anything about. By that I mean how the simplest shit can turn a guy on, not because of what he's seeing but because of his mind.
thisisafunnyname 12
185, I'm a guy and getting turned on by frogs in science is weird. Even worse that he had to go jack off in school
icallbullshit 3
The frogs didn't turn him on, his mind did. If you read the D part of my comment you'll know what I'm talking about because you're a guy.
Almandine 7
You do realize that girls can get turned on by random shit too. I don't think it's that odd that it turned him on, I think it's odd that he didn't try to think of something non-sexual to take care of the problem. Wanking at school just sounds odd, but then again maybe most guys do that...
icallbullshit 3
Most guys don't wank at school, I'll crush that thought right now. I didn't say girls couldn't, and if they can, then clearly by the fml above its not to the extent of guys. I'm 100 percent sure he didn't have the frog in his mind when he was masturbating, it was either a person or just plain masturbating because he had an erection. Another thing, a guy could get horny and his erection won't go down for ages simply because he's THAT horny so maybe that's why he went for a wank. Girls on the other hand, correct me if you know more, get wet, labias expand, and the ******** hardens and it's easier to conceal that isn't it? Compared to an erection that is. Lastly he's at school meaning he's smack ban in the middle of puberty, for all he knows it could have been a spontaneous erection and not one brought on by the thought of frogs reproducing.
Deeznutzhairy 7
I think 4 is just being sarcastic.
VictoriaSchultz 8
Who the **** wants to watch frog sex?.. It's enough hearing about it
emilyissutee 0
wtf.
HairyPunisher 27
icallbullshit, you really need to calm your bouncy ass down. You're getting really strung out for no reason. I get the fact that you're justifying OP's situation but you've wasted everyone's time with your rants on the mechanics of the male mind. I get that you think you have a doctorate in health and sexual studies but I can only assume at 19 that you do not. That said, being a 19 year old guy does not immediately make you an all around expert on the subject of the teenage male mind.
RedPillSucks 33
He probably had to jack off cause he didn't want to walk around all day with a boner. That can be painful. Also, people sometimes get randomly aroused by non-sexual stuff. It happens.
tellithowitis 13
So this isn't normal... *awkwardly walks away
akg98 13
Hahaha
blcksocks 19
It might be normal if he saw that the frog's legs were up in the air..
JoeRogansBEARD 15
This needs to be an illustrated FML
cheetahbaby96 8
5- Your profile just made my week!
marsrover12 0
Lol love number fives profile
curlyfry33 8
Because having a dramatic close up of your nose as your profile picture is normal...
kellandj2019 7
lol I love ur profile
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
One time I was in the washroom and there was wank juice all over the walls. I love my university -_-.
poopycat 5
Ummmm, awkward school much?
HiIAmKevin 8
6- I guess I missed a spot...
Atli 1
Wank juice? Really?
JoeRogansBEARD 15
I prefer the words fap juice
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Wank juice, happy juice, pappy juice, what eva ya wanna call it, it's still smothered all over the walls and smells like rotten tuna fish. Damn I feel sorry for who ever cleans up that sloppy mess.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
149 Would you rather of had me call it sloppy Sammie's sticky surprise?
mmorgan9218 5
baby gravy
23lf 16
I call it baby gravy
Sniper3000 0
Better than the dude from a few years back that dry humped his dog. But still what the hell.....
Michaelsgirl04 9
O_o dafuq
klovemachine 24
Ah yeah :)
WTSchool 0
Oh god, what is wrong with you? I mean, I understand a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do, but... at school....?
Nevereverland 8
Hey frogs are hot , especially green slimy toads and the way they rrriibbiitt
efynsien 1
Toads aren't frogs genius
dudeman1212 22
129 - YOU DON'T SAY?
mirandaboo3 0
Your life sucks!
CaramelMacchiato 13
You get hot and bothered by green, scaly, and warty creatures? You must be attracted to witches as well.
Killer_fel 15
Frogs don't have scales.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Whoops! :P well, that doesn't make it any better.
onealmxwilson 18
Last time I checked witches didn't have scales either.
DracoSpirita 21
As a Wiccan, I take slight offense to the "witch" reference. Lol.
killaKT 2
They don't have scales
CaramelMacchiato 13
Calm down, guys. It's not that big of a deal.
FYLminerocks 7
Frog Fetish
DracoSpirita 21
Jeez, you guys can't take a joke... -_-
auzz1_pride 9
163) you're just figuring this out now?
Grimmerie 31
Frogs don't have warts either.
th3cr4zywolf 4
Who cares if frogs don't have scales or warts you guys know what she meant
cassiano 0
Are you blonde or just really stupid ??
GothicAngel17 24
61 - As a Wiccan, I don't take offense to this at all, because it's not referring to Wiccan witches.
CaramelMacchiato 13
215 - Neither. And I'm a brunette, as you can tell from my profile picture. Are you blind or really stupid?
cassiano 0
If you haven't realized most people don't really have photos of themselves on a website such as this. Haha your trying to rip on me, try find a frog with scales idiot.
seblikescricket 7
yep, and I'm getting hot and bothered for u
retyi43 14
ribbit
XtraEzeee 8
*fap fap fap*