Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML
Morning!
Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML
Sorry Sharon
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML
Top comments
HannahForbesxo 13
It's a shame OP didn't lettuce know how it actually feels.
habest 2
Well at least the person doing the slapping was thinking healthy. ;)
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Comments (131)
redbluegreen 41
Well, lettuce in on the experience.
HannahForbesxo 13
It's about thyme someone made a vegetable pun.
JennaMarie420 2
very clever
bluegoldfish 7
how sage. but parsley i think we should beet op in the chickweeds.
HannahForbesxo 13
Trying to beet me in a pun war? I shallot rise to the challenge. I turnip my nose at your pun. Try again to marrow.
bluegoldfish 7
i seed what you did there. does this mean all my puns have bean fruitless? ha, you wont beet me, thinking alfalfa these bluffs, il not be spinached.
HannahForbesxo 13
Sprout time you replied, though I carrot believe you're still doing this. Chive got a feeling this could go on, so I don't know pepper or not I should keep commenting. I've not got time for this, there's a leak in my bathroom! I hope you don't take me for a fool, after all, takes one to grow one.
bluegoldfish 7
ah swede, you replied. but does this mein all my puns have bean fruitless? i kidney not, this could last a while, so better pak choy it while its still fun(gi). hope you fixed the leek, they can get pretty chilli
HannahForbesxo 13
Ah, it's bean a while. I butter-nut squash all your efforts at this, yours are quite mint, though not a (vegetable) patch on mine. No I can't afford to fix the leak, I need a bigger celery and am yet to find the root of the problem, thanks for your concern though.
HannahLouise96 13
^^ Bahahaha! This is friggin hilarious!
Quyzl 0
I am greens with envy over this pun duel.
bluegoldfish 7
pear you are, im imcressed. i was worried from my head to-ma-toes that you'd got sick of these artichokes. shame about your bathroom, try using stuffing but don't make it too broad if there isnt mushroom, that should keep them at bay (leaf). maybe if youre extra-spice to your boss he'll give you a maize in your celery? you corn never tell.
greek1919 0
why are you bitching
instnt1nfction 17
fresh
SighMaster3000 4
Better than a turkey slap I guess
zeta24 0
honestly if ur not gonna tell us why i frankly dont understand ehy u botjer submitting these.
PS1213 0
Feels good, man.
metallicshadow 16
so...what did it feel like?
GleePrincess18 3
weird
CryMoreFMLs 15
Crispy goodness.
xo_kat_xo 0
Uhh...