Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML
Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
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Top comments
kay2810 9
Sometimes I wonder what lead to these kind of FML's...
crushedone 7
I see you've met my ex-girlfriend.
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Comments (142)
kay2810 9
Sometimes I wonder what lead to these kind of FML's...
lilikawaii 6
That's what I was thinking. Where were you, OP? I wouldn't want to mistakenly go there. :)
MatheusRajuidas 5
Caves in forests. Just saying.
EmreArslan 11
Sometimes there could be a bat in his house that he didnt want to have in his house and tried to get it out... That is where it went wrong
I_Hug_Cats 26
It takes skill?
lexa1love 16
I live in Ohio in the hills and if you go out at night in season there's bats all over. I've had them fly into my car before when I left the windows down.
bioboy725 10
I've been hit in the face by one. Around my house they are quite docile. They're everywhere though.
KittySaysMoo 6
I thought it was going to say "but with a aluminum one." it took me a minute to figure it all out.
ScaughtieHolden 11
I accidentally hit myself in the head with an aluminum bat one time.
HeartOfLead 24
Well, in my opinion... Let's say she and her boyfriend were... Well, uh... If you've ever seen Scary Movie one, just think of it as a bat popping out. And instead of the, the guys the *pardon my grammar* noob.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
69 - Your comment is the "lucky" number! (lucky as in getting some sex...)
wierdos_rule 0
Tomorrow, you will receive rabies shots from today's FML. FYL
JJambiya21 0
I don't understand why people would put a YDI for this, how the hell is this op's fault?
Rowdey 10
114 - You're legitimately retarded.
KhrystallDaBest 15
138- They could have accidentally pressed it.
tapatia530 0
Sounds painful.
fireice22 0
DON'T EAT GARLIC!!!!!
noshatsherlockk 15
I would suggest some type of rabies shot..
WOGBRO 6
Took the words right out of my mouth
KMtheDrummer 6
Probably less painful then getting hit with a baseball bat.
bmwguy01 8
^except rabies shots are painful!
bizarre_ftw 22
^major myth
asinate97 0
You had me for a second
nofearjenshere 12
After I read, "not by a wooden one," I thought to myself, "oh, a metal one?" then I read the rest of the FML.
southernman218 0
Yeah me too
rockwind_ 5
I was thinking a metal bat...
yahoowizard 16
I speed read it and thought it got stuck in her hair, so I had one with spikes or something. Thank God it was the animal
iamyummylicious 14
I also thought metal bat. I was like OMG ARE YOU DIEDED?
Danny0522 8
63- dieded? Really?
bizarre_ftw 22
I was an inch from writing "that's how I got my first black eye when I was ~8!!!" then I read the rest.... Kinda glad I did it in that order
Birdie_Sage 0
Ouch...
LunaDragon 10
What did you hurt your brain writing out that extremely intelligent comment?
Pandacupcakelove 26
31- Hey, go easy on the birdie! They arent very intelligent animals.
shanemaximo 7
Damn, that's rabies for sure.
breeY0 7
oh gosh, I would have been running in circles screaming like a maniac if I was you.
MatheusRajuidas 5
If I saw someone running around and screaming like a maniac I'd hit them with a bat. You know, not the wooden ones, the metallic.
agreedtodisagree 4
If I 'were' u.
Jiinxx 8
'you'.
aw3som3sauc3 10
Ok, ok, they made a few grammatic errors, but I still agree with the first person to reply ;)
AwkwardPartyBear 24
That fail moment when a grammar nazi tries to correct someone and their grammatically incorect.
MatheusRajuidas 5
#126 They're* grammatically incorrect*. LOL HONK :o)
karmaslave 5
That's smart...
Voldy_fml 16
Ouchh! Im glad I'm not you!
crushedone 7
I see you've met my ex-girlfriend.
roseXthorns 8
Oh, I thought OP was talking about my mom. We're you dating her?
bizarre_ftw 22
Wait wait wait!!! Uncle roseXthorns?!
roseXthorns 8
What?
Platfoot 0
Bats are scared of people, well, most of them. I think you caused its attack. :/
bmwguy01 8
Or it isn't Op's fault and he had a rabid bat hit him?
bizarre_ftw 22
Or it was neither the bat nor the op's fault and there's some psychopath out there with a catapult and access to air challenged bats that bite
tanay97 8
What did the doctor say?
FmaFangirl 9
This sounds.... Very painful. You okay? :[