Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
BlackDragon76 0
Watching the X Files will help get fit in? Where do you live, the 90's?
ClosetTroll 10
Sleep on the floor if you can't take your child's kicks.
unlikexthexrest 1
Why exactly is Supernatural making her a brain dead conformist? What kind of parent are you exactly? Well obviously she needs to fit in since you're a judgmental nut bag.
mimiame 2
Those r great shows!!!!!
nightowl713 25
Super Natural is the best :) Dean is very attractive... Totally worth nightmares!
BritLass 15
Supernatural kicks ass, along with your daughter apparently ;)
eyecon502 13
X-Files? What decade is it? Or am I unaware of some new trend?
Devious_Wombat 1
Interesting way to become a conformist.
BroeCell 2
So what ? You think she will change her belief and become attracted to the occult ? Gosh ... You are lame. Better tell her not to watch the reality tv shows like big brother or jersey shore and so on. These things melt your brain. Beside my parents forced me to watch Steven Kings IT when i was 6. And i still hate clowns. The more you say no the more the kids will do it. There are more dangerous things outside. Be good parent and think ahead and adapt to the world. Time isnt standing still and you have adjust. Dont forget your child doesnt think the same way as you do and never will.
Queen_Dread 6
Hey at least you kid is watching something cool like the X files. It broadens the horizons.