Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
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Top comments
stinewd 9
you're gonna be a cool parent!
crotchpheasant 0
I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha
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Comments (465)
fugachumi 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first bitches
anorexicbarbie 8
Metalocalypse is in the 'adult swim' section On Demand, how did you manage to **** that one up?
CAPTmok 7
OP forgot to mention that she was actually high as she put the cartoon on.
pman590 8
haha I used to love metalocalypse!
aprilmayjune93 0
you're fired.
whyXD 13
He's getting to learn about life alot sooner. So how did the clown do with he's addiction.
UnicornHunter 12
Idiot. Not all cartoons are for kids
sheethapins 13
Yeah or you know just watch the show first...
Pazu_fml 10
A much easier method is "pay attention once in a while." A show doesn't have to be completely watered down to the point of having no entertainment value in order to be good for kids. The guardian just needs to pay enough attention to be able to decide if it's something the kid can handle at his or her age.
lcecreamNSadness 2
Now playing:Metalocalypse Next Show: Hentai YDI for Stereotyping.
jackiemoonthepro 5
hentai's messed up
zukinihudini 0
wooooooo DETHKLOK!!!!!!!!! hell yah!!!
OrgasmicBunnies 9
YEAH!!! MURDERFACE!!!
skizzlerz 0
jeez I can barely pronounce the name of the freaking show. Gahhhh tongue twister!!!
Thunderbender 2
I've never seen Metalocaplypse but even I know it's an adult cartoon...
seanders 10
I can play every Dethklok song on my electric, they're ******* awesome! Brendon Small is a genius! Great rhythm, great solos etc, and the show rocks!! I DO COCAINE!! KEKEKE YEAH!
Uneedanapbro 6
I don't think that was a cartoon. She was just really messed up.
dinodannyrawr 5
chocolate candy :)). BRING IT BITCH!!
alexdaguitarman 0
best show ever
CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN 4
if you knew what happened in the show you obviously had to be watching it yourself.
The_Weirdo 10
At least you didn't make her see brokeback mountain.
kevinfenchak 0
MY NAME IS WILLIAM MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE Unrelatedly, hey Skvisgar I'm gettin a handjob from your mom!
steveakafranxy 7
^ comment moderated lol
ieatzombiebrains 0
dr rockso the Rock n roll clown... I DO COCAINE
whitesox365 0
clowns these days...
Juggalette_623 9
OH! Awesome! Next put on 'Super Jail.' The kid'll love it. Pretty colors! XD
DruidForLife 0
it's on cartoon network in the afternoons.
trevishere 7
Reference for the future;; Get nothing that ends in 'ocalypse'. Did it not have a rating on it?
D11Churchkill 8
Metal-oca-lipse
Slipknot666Maggo 0
his name is Dr. Rockzo. he'd a rock n roll clown. he does cocaine. that's all we know.
Tobias5505 0
let's have a rage face party
fugachumi 0
first bitches
mejiiaa 0
your 2nd bitch
ElectricEffect 13
He's technically both.
rottentomatoes 7
he's both. and if you don't take it too seriously, his profile picture is kind of hilarious
mejiiaa 0
LMAO
Tjack_attack 0
Sat least he knows not to go to clown collage
rallets 23
yea a "collage" about clowns would be too much
richard121212 0
but wait... how would she know it was about a clown with a cocaine problem if she wasn't watching?
zukinihudini 0
damn right they are they watch kickass shows about kickass metal bands DETHKLOK!!!
marijuanasmoker4 3
My names Dr.Rockzo, and I do cocaaaaiiinnee!!!
Tektite 14
Atleast it wasn't hentai LMAO
iEatGuppies 0
you probably couldn't get accepted into clown "collage" with your spelling.
Tjack_attack 0
and you probably will get accepted to who gives a sh*t collage, you troll
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I made a clown collage once. It scared small children ):
JoeTheMan12 0
I bet the kid didn't know what was going on, but i would be more cautious next time!
crizzy101 5
136, so true! ( T_T)?(^-^ )
felixshen 18
190- Dont juge peepal beecaus they kant spel. Im a clon and i kant spel. beesides, he mait be fanny. lol dont take it seriously, i was trying to be funny. i know i know, my dry wit, sense of humour and charming demeanor might be unacustomed at first, but you'll get used to it. :D
felixshen 18
*might be hard to get acustomed to at first. Stupid little grammar error, God forgives me, so should you lol
Drummerboy1234 0
#43 - people like you make me want to ouch things. COLLEGE.
samadams42 0
i love that show an im from new hampshire 2
stinewd 9
you're gonna be a cool parent!
CryMoreFMLs 15
Isn't that what the show information is for...? Also, why would you think something that derives fom the word "Apocalypse" is child friendly?
missmurderx 8
"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom."
Kefka91 15
IM ON COCAAAAAAAIN!!!! oh Dr. Rockso the rock and roll clown... he's a good roll model
Kefka91 15
195- before some dick weasel points it out: yeas, I used roll instead of role by accident. deal with it
ILoveVilleValo 0
Dr Rockso !! :D haha that show is so brutal
JoeTheMan12 0
cool parent yes, smart parent no.
fyriwolf666 8
200 - I love you for using the term "dick weasel".
imosim 0
rock an roll hello, rock an roll goodbye.
Tgyr34 0
IM DR. ROCKZO, THE ROCK AND ROLL CLOWN. I DO COCAINE!
Frenchface 0
ahahaha you really have not heard of that show? lol love it
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
I agree it's the best show ever xDDD rockso the rock and roll clown ftw xD and yes I'm on c-c-c-cocaine xD
OWNZ 0
Gotta start em early! ;)
LeelaD 0
ca ca ca ca ye-ah!!!!!!!!!
mylyfzeffedup 0
gettin him ready for the real world
Lady98K 4
LOL!
Leah_Adelle 0
I DO COCAINNEEEE
nmearayta 0
he needs to learn early. if you see a clown outside of a circus you run??
ChickenDoggiesWh 0
I love that show :D
CsDy1395 6
I'm Doctor Rockso, the rock and roll clown! I do cocaaaaiiiine!
bantosh 4
me and my anarcho-punk friend watch this show all the time when we hiiigh
Diogi4363 0
I saw that one, when I was like 11, great parenting. Reminds me of my family
VitaLp 14
Hold up, the show isn't even that old. You must be young as ****
VitaLp 14
My bad, that'd make you like 16. Didn't know it came out in 2006 ^.^;
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
I remember seeing it when I was like 8 or 9 n Murderface dumped ice down his pants O.O
senseisuncommon 7
#1, you fail, and don't you think you'd read the info on it before putting it on...?
Doctorhowl 0
You know that kid is gonna snort some pixie sticks and give it up when they ask "Where'd you learn that?"
Doctorhowl 0
You know that kid is gonna snort some pixie sticks and give it up when they ask "Where'd you learn that?"
NereidAlbel 14
Let's just hope his parents never hear him say "And I do c-c-c-c-cocaine!"
eff5 0
LMAO!!!
crotchpheasant 0
I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha