Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on Facebook. FML

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML

She's lost control

Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML