Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
Scooter42 15
Thats pathetic. Dump him before he goes ' fear' on you. I know you're too young its a movie with mark wahlberg.
JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0
put a camera inside the bear. he will like it then!!
Hollywood_Envy 0
that's funny...childish and immature yea, but still funny...
LaGuera7426 0
seriously, RUN. he doesn't respect your possessions...soon he will do something to you.
OfficeNinja 5
wow. I'm pretty sure "death glaring" at a stuffed toy out of jealousy is one of the signs someone might have a tendency towards extreme serial killer type violence. that or you need to date an adult, one who is not threatened by a stuffed animal.
SteelCladAngel 0
yeaahhh he's completely psycho. O.O I'd back out before he starts slapping /you/ around
BADDiam 4
may i know wtf is on yr screen profile ?
tpike1296 11
61: it is a cinnamon roll.
SteelCladAngel 0
lol yes, a cinnamon roll the beat ive ever made. :)
Notsocharmedlife 0
Get a new bf
Consequences 0
bro, it's an act, chill out.
camelspanker69 0
I do the exact same thing.. oh wait never mind I'm not 2.
SugaryTears 0
so... did you get the message?