Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
darkness4dummies 0
well thats kinda cute but sill super duper wierd you should tell him to calm down or hide that stuffed animal or give ur man sum cuddle action
Mekeritrig 15
Dump him and get away as far as you can from this guy.
barlessprison 16
Take his phone and throw it against the wall and claim you don't like the way his fingers caress the keys when he texts.
nate_msm 0
won
bigal1135 0
win
shaniecerb 0
what if its touch screen?
tmack9 2
thats a good one! >:D
DerpyHooves 0
Then he's caressing it even more D:
GrooveSponge 0
Ha! Win:D
cierajay 3
that it too awesome!
that_is_Nathy 9
eh...strange...creepy...hmmm. But if he's your boyfriend of two years and was never allowed to be in the same bed as you are, I can understand his frustration ;)
Poopolicious 5
op never said she was with her bf for 2 years...
Anubis_81 21
insecure douche.
kittea86 0
not everyone wants to have sex before marrige or maybe shes not ready to have it w him. point being he's acting childish.
thebestof1984 0
Time to say goodbye to the loser!
mk58 31
This actually made me laugh. My little sister used to do something similar to this when she was younger, but only because she wanted me to hug her.
lizbiz5694 4
you wouldn't hug your little sister? geez. aren't you nice
athena3100 9
My sister and i are 14 and 16 and just yesterday we were wrestleing each other in the front yard... we are never going to grow up. well that was random but my sister gets mad when i dont hug her cause im to tired or im to busy. Shes the 16 year old......
mk58 31
101, it's not that I wouldn't hug her, she just liked being held ALL the time. Let's just say that she liked attention.
KaskStunter 4
So the fml is about your incapacity to find a normal boyfriend?